Mending
by a.n.n.n.e.s.t
Summary: After the Casino, Chuck and Blair are "working on things" and mending their hearts - together. Blair wants to be a Bass and maybe Chuck wants to be a Waldorf. They may even conquer the world.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck or Blair, or Gossip girl. They are Cecily's rightful property, thought I wish they were real and making babies with headbands and bowties.**

**This fic is dedicated to my wonderful and awesome Riml (Ohchuckles) because she dedicated her fic to me and encouraged me to write this along with my **** Catherine (Blaireffinwaldorf). Also lots of love to the amazing (Maribells) for beta-ing this for me.**

**I've never written a fic before, or attempted one in any capacity, so this is my first fic ever. The writing will certainly show it. I just thought i should put It out there.**

**This is set as a continuation of the last scene of 5x24 at the Casino table.**

Chapter 1

"Bass." the word carried with it charged gravity. She wanted at the least a conversation. That much he deduced from the way she showed up like she owned the place. But when she said his name, twice now, He heard the command but also the layers of vulnerability underneath her sugary tone; almost as if she were the one waiting for a verdict to be read as opposed to the one with the verdict to hand out.

When she said she was going to fight for him, it was declarative, she wasn't asking for permission. What exactly was she expecting from him? However, he didn't move to say anything, mostly because he didn't believe he had anything pleasant to say to her. He just continued to stare at her with wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

"Bass" she nagged teasingly, when he still didn't respond, switching to a more playful tone. Her serious composure lasted only a minute before she started feeling self conscious and decided to play it down. She swept her boy a little closer to him, leaning her Chanel No. 5 scented neck right where she knew his olfactory glands would catch it. She was coaxing him to say something - anything - whatever would make sitting there and having the croupier stare at her pitifully…And Chuck's fully dilated pupils transfixed on her, completely dumbfounded, slightly more bearable.

Chuck opened his mouth as if he were about to respond to her new easy-going bait, but then he closed it and just pushed his tongue into the inside of his jaw. He looked contemplative as Blair watched him for a second. Then, his forehead rippled a little in thought and he inhaled.

Blair mentally rolled her eyes back at his slow reception.

The croupier drummed a couple of his fingers on the table, subtly hinting to the couple lost in their exchange that he was waiting on their word to proceed.

When a few more seconds passed and Chuck still hadn't uttered a word, Blair suddenly looked straight at him and erupted in laughter, gripping at the table with one hand for support as she posed her other over her heart to steady her heartbeat.

"Oh! Bass" she squeaked out through her exhilarating tears of laughter, and it sounded like a plea, both teasing and sad.

A trace of a smile started to appear on Chuck's face as he watched Blair completely seized by her laughter, completely and uncharacteristically unguarded in front of him, like she hadn't been in years. And it abruptly made his insides churn anew with all the emotions he reserved for her.

He couldn't help the gush of joy that started bursting through his veins at the image of Blair in front of him, her nose scrunched, her eyes shut tightly, and her mouth stretched making a show of her beautiful set of pearly whites and those lips that he never got tired of admiring. He could only think how 'cute' she was in that moment. Cute? He pondered to himself. That would be what you call a pet. He imagined Blair would find quite a bit of offense in that word. But in that moment, he could only see the dorky girl on display, and he realized he quite liked that girl. Even if dorky girls weren't his cup of tea, every version of Blair was his cup of tea. He was suddenly painfully conscious of how much he missed her, all the way down his body. He found the fact that she laughed at her own weird jokes in her head completely enthralling. He loved everything about this girl, he contemplated to himself.

He tried to turn his head away when he realized she had opened her eyes and was looking at him again. The smile was still on his face and had grown wider with him being lost in his thoughts about her. She caught him, and he knew it the exact moment she did.

"What was so funny?" he quickly asked, to beat her getting the lead on the conversation. He wasn't ready to let her call the shots after all. He was the one in need of answers anyway. He looked her straight in the eye, but this time his expression was more neutral and softer than before. He realized by now that she was here for a conversation. And this was a conversation he could avoid no longer, given the manner in which she showed up to make her declaration, to fight for him, to bet on him. What did that even mean? He didn't know what to think. It was something he had only dared imagine in dreams.

The croupier glared at the two people in front of him who were off in their own world, completely oblivious to his presence.

"Whenever you're ready" he announced pointedly.

Chuck could sense Guillaume? Whatever was his name was uncomfortable observing the melodramatic scene in front of him and so he gestured the croupier off and Guillaume immediately started chatting up a blonde at a nearby table.

"When have you ever run out of retorts for your name being called out over and over again?" Blair asked as soon as they were alone "Is it possible someone kidnapped the real Chuck Bass and replaced him with you? Did you know I said your name at least four times and you didn't get smug? You didn't even smirk for the record. And if that didn't do it, the expressions on your face were completely un-Chuck Bass, priceless!" She broke out in laughter again. "I think I may be right with that theory" she said even more teasingly this time. "You are failing miserably. I'm sorry to tell you. I think it's hilarious"

At this point, Chuck didn't know if he should keep this up with Blair for now or seriously ask her why she was there. He didn't want to be too snappy right off the bat, but he also didn't feel completely comfortable playing into her trick, pretending like nothing was the matter when there was a clear and obvious elephant standing right between them.

It just didn't feel right to him, and he didn't want to act like he forgot about everything just because she showed up. He wanted nothing more than to be back together with her. In fact, his lower body was definitely in agreement. And he knew he'd eventually get over everything, but he couldn't sit there and laugh with her just because she looked very beautiful when she laughed and he loved to stare at her doing so. Sure, he had managed to smile earlier but that was purely the physical effect she had on him. He hadn't willingly opened up to her again. She had much more talking to do before he gave her any inch. But for now, as much as he wanted to tell her to stop whatever she thought she was doing, when he looked at her, he couldn't help but succumb to her beaming face.

So he decided he wanted to see where she planned to go with this.

"I'm not failing that miserably, am I?" he replied in mock horror at the criticism, playing into her trick. "Don't I at least get points for the scotch?" he added playfully. Even though it wasn't his intention to give in; his mood suddenly lightened up as he uttered the words. He just couldn't resist what he felt for her.

"And I could say the same thing for you too" he continued, the words flowing. "You were literally snorting with laughter seconds ago. I know for a fact the real Blair Waldorf would never do that. She actually used to glare at me when I did." he remembered fondly.

Blair scrunched up her nose appalled by his commentary.

"Snorting?" she defended "I did no such thing. In which case, seems you're agreeing with my theory after all. The real Chuck Bass, despite his shortcomings, has never been a particularly good liar to me. And I certainly don't expect him to lie about something as absurd as me snorting. I don't snort." she scoffed at the absurdity of the possibility. "It's not very Waldorf-like. Me and Chuck, we always counted on each other for honesty. It kind of was our thing." She finished a little dreamily.

A moment later she shook herself out of her reverie.

"Anyway, you clearly are not him" she said with a little frown. He simply chuckled at her rant. It was endearing watching Blair be Blair.

"And please," she added with a roll of her eyes. "Me glaring at you was always for your own benefit. Don't you think it would have been cruel if I just watched you throw away 18 years of etiquette training for a stupid habit? You are much better now because of it, and you have me to thank for that. Do you not agree?"

"Do I not agree?" he replied, now completely amused. "How would I know the answer to that question given that I'm not the real Chuck Bass?" he demanded with a teasing raise of his eyebrow. "Unless you're saying that I am the real Chuck Bass?"

Apparently she had successfully trapped him into the conversation, because he temporarily forgot all the other nagging thoughts about her that were pestering his mind for days, weeks, months even. He was completely in the moment with her.

She readily raised an arm to swat him on the shoulder, his punishment for being too witty, but she immediately thought better of it. It seemed as though they were now enjoying each other's company effortlessly, only moments after her arrival. But, she didn't think they were at that place yet, where she could extend the teasing to physicality. She knew that would be an overstep for now. She was lucky they were even exchanging words – mere minutes ago, greeting each other was a labor, but she was very happy about it.

"Well, there's only one way to find out" she cleared her throat suggestively, smirking, "But it would certainly cause a scene. I guess we have to bypass It." she said smiling tentatively before falling into laughter again at the naughtiness of her own joke.

She watched for Chuck's expression, but he just swallowed and offered her a small sad smile. Once she stopped laughing, she offered him the same.

"However," she announced, attempting to cover up the awkward silence that started to fill between them "I will give you points for the scotch. And you didn't do half bad conveying his sense of fashion, I must admit. Freakishly, you even sound like him too. As far as looks, I'm going to hazard a guess that you cloned him and decided to wear it for the full effect. I wouldn't put it past you" she babbled on.

"What about the hair?" he asked flirtatiously, motioning his hands to show off his perfectly coiffed hair "One does not simply have Chuck Bass' hair." he added firmly as a matter of fact.

"Actually, I disagree." Blair started began, but Chuck cut her off.

"Waldorf," Chuck interjected, stopping Blair in her rambling. He sighed and his eyes twinkled with deviousness. He had something up his sleeve.

"Well," he began to say, his tone suspenseful. "Since you're having a hard time remembering yours truly, which is such a shame, really." He purred pausing a moment to smirk. "An idea rather brilliant just occurred to me. I'm thinking I should break out a few of those intimate secrets that I've been keeping since our time together." He said slowly watching her reaction.

Blair suddenly sat up straight and turned to glare at him.

"I'm sure you, along with the few eavesdroppers nearby, would like to be reminded." He whispered more languidly. "Would that do the trick? Would that satisfy your query, Waldorf?" he drawled. "I'm assuming the reason you're still glued to this chair is because you're waiting for an answer from me. And if I'm not the real Chuck Bass, I wonder what other reasons could there be."

He earned himself an even more soul penetrating death glare.

"You Basshole" she muttered hardening her face a bit more to show her disapproval.

"Seems like i quelled your suspicions. You know I'm always glad to satisfy you" he made his tongue work every word out just the way he knew would get to her.

"You're right" she replied "You are the real Chuck Bass. I concede. Only one person could master that sick level of sexual perversion"

"And only the real Blair Waldorf could pretend to be so dramatically revolted by it, when I know she's enjoying every bit of it."

"I am not enjoying this."

"Said the person who never stopped laughing"

Blair rolled her eyes ignoring the comment. She turned and noticed a waiter walking around the room in their direction

"Monsieur," she called out raising her pointer finger straight up for the waiter to notice.

She felt her throat go dry on the last syllable. She had been laughing quite a bit, tonight. She was definitely in need of a drink. And upon remembering where she was and who she was sitting across from, maybe two or three, or ten. The waiter approached her table and Blair picked a flute of champagne off the silver tray.

"Anything else I can get for you, Mademoiselle?"

Blair shook her head "Non, merci"

The waiter addressed Chuck briefly as well, who asked for a refill of his scotch. The waiter nodded and told him that his scotch would be brought over promptly.

When they were left alone again, Blair made a grimace to herself before taking a long drawn-out sip of her champagne. The liquid was cool and tasted heavenly rolling down her dry throat. She was already regretting that she didn't start drinking much earlier in the evening. They both sat there silently, while Blair sipped her champagne, until moments later when the waiter returned with the scotch.

Chuck took his scotch and placed it on the table as he nodded the waiter off with a low 'thank you'.

He sat up to fix his posture trying not to give away his awkwardness at being stuck next to Blair.

"Scotch, it's your favorite." Blair announced conversationally. He turned to look at her

"And champagne is yours." he returned.

'What do you think that says about us?"

"It's just your drink of choice. It doesn't say anything about you"

"Not necessarily to you. But I think it does, in general. I honestly believe there is some type of science behind all our preferences"

"Are you saying there's a science even behind my obsession with bowties?"

Blair giggled at his statement.

"Yes. I think there's a science behind your unnatural obsession with bowties. It says something about you. I would say, even the brand of phone you carry, your favorite travel destination, Even who you love"

"Blair." Chuck started to say, ready to make his own reply until he heard he last part of her speech and he instantly forgot what the conversation was even about.

Blair didn't speak for another moment either, but she mentally cursed herself for putting her foot in her mouth.

The lighthearted exchanges had been nice but Chuck had had enough. He couldn't look at Blair in the eye anymore without acknowledging the throb of pain that resounded against his chest at the sight of her.

"Blair" he trailed off with a heavy sigh, and then he stopped to look over at her. "I'd like to know why you're really here. Why are you here, Blair?" he asked, confusion and a certain fear laced in his voice.

They had been delaying this conversation ever since Blair arrived and sat down. They had attempted to cut some of the tension between them with the light jokes and teasing. Blair hadn't known what else to do when she called his name four times and he didn't say anything. She'd tried to get him to loosen up around her she'd known that their encounter would inevitably lead to this conversation. And given the way he was looking at her she knew he wasn't going to make it easy. She'd prepared herself for that. This conversation wasn't going anywhere until they had it and they both knew it at that moment.

Chuck picked up his glass and leveled it with his mouth tipping it upwards slightly and taking a swig of the liquid, into his waiting mouth. He reset the glass on the table with a bit too much force before turning to look straight at Blair.

She had been staring at him the whole time since he asked her that inevitable question. She watched as his mouth opened to receive the liquid and a spark of desire flicked her insides. She couldn't read him very well at that moment, but she knew he wasn't happy.

When he turned to look at her, he watched her earlier gaiety completely retreat and a solemn and dark expression settle on her face. She was thinking. And instantly her features tensed making her look much older and wiser than that dorky girl she was minutes ago with him.

He realized the moment was here, there was no delaying it any longer, so he moved to get up. They couldn't have this conversation at the table with so many people floating around. If he was going to tell Blair how he really felt, they needed some privacy.

Blair watched Chuck get up and moved to follow when he nodded his head at her in a silent confirmation. They swerved out through the tables past other people filing in with their richly-textured, colorful evening gowns and blinding diamonds. When Chuck turned into the hall, it was much quieter.

He stepped onto the marble floor, holding the door open, waiting for Blair to catch up to him. He looked back to see her mid-conversation, smiling politely at a fellow casino patron and graciously flaring the skirt of her dress in a subtle movement. He figured she probably got held back by someone commenting on her dress. It was quite a showstopper, if he dare say so himself. She noticed him then and nodded in his direction as he waited by the door.

Jack appeared from the hallway coming towards Chuck. He winked and looked as though he were about to say something, but when he noticed Blair striding towards them, he simply patted Chuck on the shoulder and passed by without a word.

Blair and Chuck rode the elevator up to his floor. Blair stared at the number panel the whole time and counted how many seconds it took to move up each floor, while Chuck kept alternating his weight between his two feet making an obvious show of his anxiety.

When the ding of the elevator sounded, Blair stepped off onto the landing of his floor and started walking ahead of him towards his suite. He watched her body move in front of him, her hips swaying a little more dramatically than her anatomy required.

She knew he must have been watching her and she wanted to play that game right now. Perhaps, she thought it'd get her somewhere with him tonight – because as much as this conversation needed to happen, she wasn't sure she was ready.

He didn't miss her cues either as he perused every movement intently, paying attention to the dip and shift of every curve in her very body-con evening gown. He decided he liked that color on her too, a lot. But who was he kidding? He liked every color on her. He relished the fact that she couldn't see the reaction on his face as he ogled her ass, because in that moment he was able to let himself go very far, and enjoy how sublime it felt.

He had missed her so much.

He had missed her body so much; her voice, everything about her, so much.

"You're ready to talk?" Chuck suggested tentatively, sliding the key into the door, as he reached his destination. He glanced at her and she flattened the line of the lips into a sad smile.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess" Blair shrugged with finality.

.

As they stepped into the suite, the room filled with almost palpable tension at the click of the door closing behind them. Chuck moved to get some distance from her and went to stand on the opposite corner next to the window, which revealed a beautiful view of the lavish Monegasque wealth on display. The room was densely decorated in classic Rococo style. Art adorned all over the walls. Gold satin drapes hung from the ceiling to the floor, and a relief of ruffles ran along the top of the walls circling the entire room. The furniture was neatly arranged in the middle of the room. Satin-covered chairs with metal arms gilded in 14-carat gold surrounding a glass-topped table. The walls were a soft cream color, ornate with little curvaceous patterns traced in gold, imitating the shape of the furniture.

Blair stood against the door, for a moment, taking in the richness of the room before walking towards Chuck until she was only a few feet away from him.

He heard her footsteps near but he didn't turn to her, keeping his gaze directed out the window.

Nobody spoke for a few moments, so Blair occupied herself with admiring the rug under her feet.

"Since you're here, I really want to know why." He said decisively, finally wanting to break the tension filled silence that was driving them to asphyxiation. He continued to stare out the window.

Blair took a second to study her impeccably manicured hands and rub her thumbs one over the other. She raised her head up from her hands to stare at the back of Chuck's head. And the look on her face, Chuck would have found it devastating if he were able to see it. She sniffed back a tear absent-mindedly and Chuck turned around to face her.

"Because I'm sorry." She admitted in a resigned tone, when their eyes finally met. She closed her mouth awaiting what his response would be, but Chuck didn't say anything. "And I want to make it up to you. I know you don't believe me now, but I will prove it to you, Chuck." she said firmly though her emotions were brimming right below the surface. "I just needed to find the powerful woman in me first. I hope you understand."

Chuck took a step closer to her, noticing the quiet assurance in her voice. She surprised him a little with how quiet she suddenly was, compared to her happy demeanor just mere minutes ago at the Casino table. It seemed as if she was already on the verge of tears and he wondered if the tone of his question had anything to do with it.

"I understand that." He reassured her calmly. "It's just everything else I don't understand."

Blair realized she had no right to cry in front of Chuck at that moment, to make him feel sorry for her. She knew that she deserved every bit of his coldness and bitterness for how poorly she had treated him all year. And she needed to be able to take it. It had been so easy for her to hurt other people yet when the tables turned, all she wanted to do was run.

But this was it. She needed to take this, take ownership of what she's done and maybe hope this wouldn't be the end.

"Chuck, I've put you through a lot this year." Blair sighed guiltily after attempting to rein in her emotions. "But I've also been through a lot myself. I was looking to fix my problems the easy way and I just ended up hurting a lot of people." she added remorsefully. "You have no idea how sorry I am for that."

She stepped forward and took Chuck's hand in her own to affirm what she was saying to him, squeezing his hand lightly. Chuck reached out and tentatively caught her wrist between his thumb and the palm of his hand. He stroked it a little, and then released it. She looked up into his eyes. Tears were already glossing their contours again.

"I just want you to know." She confessed. "I'm really grateful for the way you never gave up on me even though I did everything to push you away."

Chuck shook his head at her sadly.

"You're the one who taught me never to give up on people, Blair. I had my days and you never gave up on me then. I couldn't give up on you."

Blair smiled in acknowledgement.

"I couldn't do that then." she admitted to him."Do you think there's any chance we could work this out between us for good?" she continue after a pause "It's really sad when I think about it to myself now, how many times you and I missed the chance to be together. We'll never know what we missed those times." She resigned sadly. "If we miss another chance, I don't know if I can take it, Chuck."

"That's true" he agreed as he walked away from her and turned back to face the window. "We don't have the most fortunate timing in the world, but at least the upside of our tragic flaw is that when we do get back together, we get to spend a lot of time making up for the time we wasted."

"But that's not so true." Blair countered, moving to stand next to Chuck by the window. He looked down at her. He couldn't remember the last time he was this close to Blair alone together. It had been so long. His heart dropped a little in his chest.

"That's not really true." she repeated, more urgently this time. "Which is why it's so sad. We can try to catch up, to make up for lost time. We can try to make amends. But lost time is lost time forever. We can never really make up for it completely. You'll never be my first husband." She said sadly.

A little wave of pain crashed on Chuck at the reminder. He was already aware of this but it didn't deflate the blow to his gut when the full realization hit him again. This was one more thing he had to get over.

He thought about what he should say in reply but he realized he might as well go with the truth. He was sure she already knew how he felt.

"But I can always be your last husband. That's more important" He responded thoughtfully. He took her hand in his and they continued to stare down at all the bright lights together, this time with their fingers intertwined.

Blair felt hope enter her heart at Chuck's statement. She knew it could just be a supposition but she couldn't help that it made her heart beat a little faster in her chest, and her face quirk up with delight. This moment felt so perfect. They were having a serious conversation, yet the mood was relatively light between them. It was like nothing they ever experienced before .Normally it was all angst and fireworks and they preferred it that way. But this time there was sweetness to the exchange and Blair couldn't place her finger on the deviation. It seemed to happen so naturally.

"Did you know, that's all I ever wanted?" Blair said regretfully. "And somehow everything else happened."

Chuck couldn't help but smile quietly at that statement. It was too incredulous to think that all Blair ever wanted this whole time was to marry him and somehow ended up doing everything else but that, even when the opportunity presented itself.

"No, but it's true." she persisted. "I just need to be honest with you. I stopped running from my feelings. I want to be honest from now on." She stated definitively.

Chuck continued to look at her with an endearing admiration in his eyes.

"Now, I'm really glad all of that is over for me." She continued. "All I want is to fight for you. I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere until we make this work. Make you believe in me again, in the 'us' that I wrecked."

"Don't say it like that." Chuck quickly defended, finding Blair's load of self-accountability quite unfair. "It wasn't just you Blair. A lot happened. It's been years of us hurting each other and going back and forth. And a lot of that was my fault too" he admitted contritely. "But you know how sorry I am for those things."

"I do, and I forgave you a long time ago." Blair confirmed to him "I guess it just took me longer to forgive myself. But now, I have come to terms with it. I know I can trust you never to sell me for a hotel again." She stated matter-of-factly.

A tear glistened in Chuck's eye as his entire face dropped at Blair's admission. The tears had been at bay for a while now which is why he had faced the window earlier. However, this time he couldn't keep them from brimming to the hilt.

Blair heard him sniff.

"Don't cry." she implored him, grabbing his shoulder tightly and placing her head against the muscle of his forearm for comfort. He flinched at the gesture.

Chuck removed his hand that was entwined with hers bouncing rhythmically along their thighs and wipe his face with it. He closed his eyes and walked away from her to the mini bar across the room. He got there and installed himself on a stool. Blair turned to face his direction but didn't move up.

"No." Chuck said as a couple tears rolled down his cheek, however keeping his demeanor as collected as he could. "I should have never given any reason for you to believe I could hurt you, Blair. I failed you. It was the worst mistake of my life. Just because I've changed from that man I used to be doesn't make it any better."

"Chuck" Blair quickly corrected him. "One thing you did years ago does not define who you are. I hope you know that. You're a good person, Chuck." Blair insisted stepping forward "Look at everything you've done since. Look at the man you've become. The kind of man I want to fight for because I know you are the only man capable of bringing me true joy and happiness. You had brought me the opposite for some time and I didn't even want to believe you changed either, because I was scared of what that would mean if I entrusted my heart with you again. You have hurt me deeply, Chuck, but you've also made me the happiest I've ever been. And I don't believe you'd ever hurt me like that again. You've come so far. I watched it happen this whole year" she went on "And I may have been in denial but I wasn't blind. I hurt you so much and you're still so good to me. You never broke my heart the way I broke yours. I married another man for Christ's sake, when I knew I loved you."

Now it was Blair's turn to push away the tears. She couldn't remembered how many times she sent Chuck away after she told him she loved him just to go be with someone else who didn't even have her heart. But always, to ensure she was really just cruel, she left him with the tiniest bit of hope and a lifetime supply of hurt.

"You loved Louis too." Chuck reminded her.

"I cared for him." Blair confessed candidly. "But I've never loved anyone like I love you, Chuck."

"Not even Dan?" Chuck decided to ask since now was as good a time as any other.

He didn't know how he felt broaching this subject with Blair. A part of him felt really vulnerable to her because of it. He didn't know what he expected Blair to say about Dan but he was somehow sure it would crush him. Blair had chosen Dan over him before. The thought alone terrified him.

"I know this makes me look bad." Blair spoke hesitantly moving towards him to stand on the other side of the bar. "But I didn't love Dan" she swallowed the lump that had risen up in her throat. "Not like you're supposed to love the person you're with. Doesn't mean he didn't mean something to me, because he did." She clarified. "He had been there for me. But this whole year, I was too weak to give love to anyone, not even you. I guess I was attracted to the fact that he loved me so much more than I could imagine loving him and I just needed that for a while."

Chuck gazed at her with a frail understanding, but didn't respond immediately.

"How do I know it's not the same with me, now that you're over Dan?" he asked, vulnerability overcoming his voice.

Blair was taken aback by his question and flinched almost in reflex. She knew he had a right to question everything she said, but it seemed like they were getting closer and Chuck was being more understanding than she'd expected him to be originally. But his question startled her and put the lump back in her throat.

"How could you even say that?" Blair shot back in her defense, moving right up to the bar to be as close to Chuck as possible with only the physical barrier standing in between them. "I would never do that to you Chuck. I know my word must mean nothing, but do you really believe I'd do that to you?"

"I guess that's the problem" he admitted resigned, "I don't know what to believe anymore, Blair. I appreciate that you're here telling me you want to fix things because I want the same thing too. And I do believe your word in the present. I just can't take your promises. We all know how they always end for me" his voice tinged with melancholy.

"Can you really blame me?" he lamented aloud when she said nothing more in her defense. She couldn't hide the bite of his words from showing up on her face.

However, she had to admit he had a point. She had played his emotions all year. She had driven him to this place.

But even though she had somewhat mentally prepared herself for his cutting words, it still didn't stop the sting from twisting into her heart. She swallowed to regain her composure.

"How can I prove it to you Chuck?" she begged "I've never wanted anything more than I want us to work. You need to know that."

"I do believe that you mean that Blair. But the thing is, I can't be sure you won't change your mind tomorrow" he admitted.

"So what are you saying, Chuck? That we're not going to work? You won't even bother trying?" Blair retorted, her anger starting to rise at the harshness of his words.

"That's not what I'm saying." Chuck replied much calmer than she had been.

"Then what?" she demanded.

.

"I'm saying we need time. Every time we rushed into this, we crashed and burned. We need to take time to be sure, to heal. That's very important." He concluded.

She didn't respond.

"If we truly love each other like we say we do," He went on. "This is the only way it'll work. I don't want to just say I'm okay with this now because I'm not. We need time."

"I'm sorry." She said walking around the bar to stand directly in front of him. He offered her the stool next to him and she hopped up to sit on it, scooting her body as close to him as possible. She placed one hand on his thigh and stared down at it.

"What for?"

"For everything, but mostly for wasting time we'll never get back." she admitted regretfully.

"But we're young, Blair." Chuck soothed. "We have a whole future and plenty of time. Don't be sorry for that. It wasn't all for nothing. I learned to be a man in that time and I could never regret that." His voice sounded quite raspy and sensual close to her ear.

"You're right" Blair conceded, with a sigh, fiddling the fabric of his tuxedo pants between her delicate fingers. "I guess it wasn't a waste. Our time apart may have been somewhat good for us. I just can't help that I feel guilty for being responsible."

"It wasn't your fault. If the time had been right, we would have happened. We didn't happen because the time wasn't right." Chuck reassured her hopefully.

"Look how much you've grown up." She smiled at his words of encouragement as she looked up into his eyes. "Seems like you're the only one of us who did." she finished as her face dropped. Her head followed suit.

Chuck hesitated to speak - to find the right words he desperately needed to tell her in that moment. To say something reassuring like he knew Blair needed to hear, but she cut him off before he even formed a sentence in his head.

"I don't need a speech about how wonderful I've been." she whispered sadly "Because I haven't. You said we need to be honest with each other; I want to hold you to that. I don't want to be fed these lies that I know aren't true. I know I've been a horrible person, Chuck" Blair admitted tears springing to her eyes.

She couldn't stop the stream of tears down her face as she leaned into Chuck's chest and he rubbed her back soothingly, before his other hand moved up into her hair. In her heart, she couldn't yet make peace with the fact that she was responsible for the year that went wasted between them, the fact that it was her doing. Unlike Chuck who had something to be proud of, she harbored even more guilt because she didn't feel she gained anything out of it. If anything, she felt all she did was lose - her baby, her ambitions, her self-confidence. She just felt them all slip away from her and she was too trapped by her weaknesses to fight back. She almost didn't know who she was anymore. It had been her mother who had finally made her feel strong again. And Eleanor entrusting her with the company was the jolt of self-assurance she'd needed all along.

Now that she felt safe and comforted in Chuck's arms, Blair started sobbing even more frantically at the memory of all the pain she was feeling - all the hurt and all the resentment she held against herself since her life started going off the rails, if the car accident with Chuck wasn't metaphor enough for her life going off the rails. Blair spent the year in abysmal anguish. Her baby was something she never talked about with anyone or allowed anyone to mention around her. Blair felt very guilty about it but she just didn't think she was strong enough to deal with the pain.

"You've had a hard year" Chuck offered kindly "How could you not think you're strong? Look at everything that's happened to you and you're still here, fighting life with all your might. You came all the way here, across the world, to fight for me and you didn't even know how any of it would turn out. I meant what I said last year, Blair. You're the most powerful woman I know. And this year, you've proven that to everybody" He finished firmly.

"When I arrived in Paris," She quivered, though managing a sad but hopeful smile through her tears. Chuck quickly made a soothing noise and rubbed her back. "And found out you were here, I told my mother that I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it." Her tone was partially clipped because she had been crying so hard moments earlier.

Chuck hugged her tighter and held her. After a few moments the sobs faded away. Blair sighed against Chuck's shirt.

"Something about taking a leap of faith with you makes me feel strong" She announced her voice much stronger and sharper than before.

"I'm glad it does, but you should know that's not the only reason why you're strong." He assured her. "Sometimes, strength is not manifested just in what you're capable of. Sometimes it's the very thing you're incapable of. What you are not willing to do or compromise, your heart. You're incredibly strong if this is you following your heart."

"This is me following my heart." she confirmed concretely. "And it led me to you." She smiled into his chest at her own admission.

A smile also appeared on his face at that moment.

"Is that okay with you?" she bargained further "You never gave me an answer when I asked earlier. Are we going to be something, Chuck?"

"Did we ever stop being 'something'?" He replied his thumb still working all over her back. "To me there's only been a different variation of what that 'something' is."

"True" she acquiesced. "Like you once said, our pull is undeniable. We only stayed away so long cause we were such fools."

"And with our lessons learned, now we can be mature fools that are right for each other" He declared.

"I can agree to those terms." Blair jumped up from his chest to sit upright on her stool. She then took both his hands in hers. "So does that mean we're officially back together?" she asked gleefully.

"It means we're trying. Labeling what we are is only going to make this feel rushed." Chuck answered honestly.

"Yes, I agree." Blair said thoughtfully "We'll know what we are when we get there."

"I have a lot of personal stuff I need to figure out as well." Chuck explained in a subdued tone. "I will have to rebuild myself from scratch. My father took everything."

Blair turned to face him completely and coaxed his body to do the same until their knees were right up against each other. She then tipped her forehead to lean against his and gazed into his pained eyes.

"He took the quantifiable stuff but that's not everything, Chuck. He can't take your business genius, your integrity or your charisma. And he won't be able to stop you from being the great man you are destined to be." She stated vehemently, her enthusiasm and conviction matching that of a motivational speaker.

"Thank you for always believing in me." He murmured softly so only she can hear him though they were the only two people in the room.

"I will never stop believing in you. I'm sorry I was betting against you for so long." She said contritely.

"I'm sorry I gave you a reason to." He countered, his eyes gazing deep into hers, full of wonderment and peace.

"I love you, Chuck." Blair announced softly as she leaned in to gently brush her lips against his in a light show of affection. And suddenly the butterflies came alive inside him, fluttering against his chest. Heat started to rise in his body at an unprecedented rate.

"I love you too, Blair." Chuck returned against her skin, smiling at her and drawing a smile to her lips as well.

"And I'm in love with you" she sang to him.

"Every nerve ending in my body is in love with you, Waldorf."

"So what do you say we go show the world once and for all that we're truly a force to be reckoned with? Let's go make some money, Bass" Blair proclaimed with determination.

"I'll say yes to everything, my darling." Chuck replied grinning and beaming with happiness.

"Let me go freshen up then we can go back to the table. Okay?" she said as she rose from her stool.

She started walking ahead in front of him towards the bathroom of his suite. Chuck loved watching her walk in front of him. He licked his lips briefly tasting the residue of her kiss.

He and Blair were going to work this out, he was sure of it.

And he was so happy he thought he was going to explode.

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**Let me know what you guys think about this chapter. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or Chuck and Blair. I just love them and ship them really really hard. They remain Cecily's property. **

**Thank you to all ten of you who reviewed my 1st chapter. I dedicate this chapter to you. I did read every single one of your reviews and I will make sure to reply to you if I haven't done so already. I hope to update pretty soon because my next chapter is completely outlined. I even wrote the major part of the dialogue. If you like this fic, let me know. I'll be more motivated to write the future chapters.**

**If you have a comment about my punctuation, believe me, I know. **

**Punch bowl of love for my beta Liz, DrHolland_GG. Go read her fic Pomp & Circumstance if you haven't.**

Chapter 2

"Catching up with old friends, But you and Blair go ahead without me." Jack waved them off.

Chuck and Blair rode the elevator up to his suite once again.

"I can't believe we won all that money!" Blair exclaimed as she stepped off unto the landing of his floor.

"You did say we were going to show the world what a great force we are together." Chuck reminded her, "And tonight we did just that. It feels so good to win, doesn't it?" He declared as he slid the key into the door.

"It's a great endorphin rush." she concurred, "One of the greatest feelings I've ever experienced. Come to think of it, I didn't even need all the champagne I had tonight. This win was more buzz than I needed."

"You did have a lot of champagne tonight, huh." he remarked as he started to remove his tuxedo jacket to fold it over a chair.

"I was celebrating." she defended, closing the door behind her and stepping inside the suite. "I mean, we did win a lot of money. I couldn't believe we were winning all that money. And how did we manage to keep winning after the first fifteen rounds? I think that croupier must have been getting tired of paying us out. He did start to give me suspicious looks. I don't even know how I did it at the roulette table either." She rambled on enthusiastically.

"I guess our luck has really turned." she spoke up again after a minute, as she went to sit on a stool by the bar. Chuck was loosening his tie as he peered out the window. The lights outside flickered in the velvety blue of the night. It was quite a beautiful sight.

"We're back together and the universe didn't spontaneously combust." Blair joked and Chuck turned to warn her with one of his pointed looks, which she secretly adored. "Okay, maybe we're not back together." she quickly corrected her faux pas, "But we're working on it. And all that money we made tonight, I couldn't be happier than I am right now."

"I really don't see it as a question of luck. We've always been lucky." Chuck reasoned, "We were just standing in our own way the whole time because like you said, we were foolish and young. This…" he motioned his pointer finger in between them. "Doesn't mean we're back together, and we don't have to get there right now, Blair. But we're here, in a good place, after so many do-overs. Isn't that proof that you and I are lucky enough?"

"I wouldn't necessarily call that car accident luck. You did almost die, remember?" Blair countered and a sad expression overtook her face for a few seconds before she could shake the memory out of her head.

"Not saying we haven't had our fair share of ill fated encounters. I know what we've put each other through, but we're certainly luckier than most. Not everyone has the privilege to live the kind of life we live, or found what we've found in each other. And every single one of these experiences has been worth it if it means that we're here now. I'm ready to put the past in the past and move forward with my life. I should be angry with you, and I am, but it's in the past for me. And as for coming this far with myself, I consider myself lucky."

"I have so many regrets though, and I can't help it." Blair acknowledged.

"I know the feeling myself." Chuck offered as sympathy knowing the emotional conflict Blair was facing with herself at the moment.

"But you can see past all that. You think that we're lucky because…"

"Because we have the very best of the very best and we are the very best of the very best, and we don't have to apologize to the world for that. And what we have with each other is its own brand of special. I mean that in a very good way."

"What we have is a great love, but we're the ones who make it special." Blair insisted in the very next breath, "It's special because of who we are. Not everyone can be us, Chuck. This is why I could never give up what we have. And I'm glad you didn't give up either." she finished.

"True. Not everyone can be us. And it hasn't been particularly easy being us. Do you want something to drink, a scotch?" Chuck said switching the subject momentarily and moving up to fix one for himself behind the bar.

"Sure." Blair replied, resting her elbows against the marble island. Chuck placed two glasses on the counter as he started to pick out from a selection of different whiskeys, deciding which one he was in the mood for.

"But at this stage in my life." Chuck said resuming his thought again, "I realize I am who I was meant to be."

"This is who we are." Blair agreed, "And some people won't get it and that's fine."

Chuck nodded in agreement with her words.

"I guess we should really be drinking champagne since this is a celebration..." Chuck started to say but Blair quickly protested.

"I've already had enough champagne for the night. Scotch is good. It makes me feel more like a champion. That's what the pros drink."

Blair had a way of talking silly nonsense that endeared Chuck completely. He couldn't help but smile at her rationale.

"By the way, how did you make 200 thousand dollars on your first spin? I'm impressed. I can't believe you called a maximum. You don't even know how to play roulette."

"I'm very observant." she winked at him and earned another smile, this time smaller. "I saw a few people call maximums on high eighteen numbers. But I have to say it was totally random."

"What are the odds?" he wondered.

"In our favor, I guess. But I have faith this was supposed to happen tonight."

"I have faith you will find a way to come out of this thing with your father." she continued as she placed a hand over his. "If you can get a couple more big wins like this, I can picture you in your rightful place again in the fall. And I don't think you'll have trouble pulling what we did tonight off again tomorrow."

"It's a possibility." he answered hopefully, "Tonight we made enough money to earn our way into a really high stake poker game. I don't know if we're going to gamble the same money again tomorrow. We should wait for the next big opportunity." he explained, "Next time we can make double that money if we play well, or even triple - A couple millions, and we might get a head start. However, I'm not going to let myself get carried away."

"You won't." Blair assured him, "You have Jack with you. You two have the same goals. You'll check and balance each other."

"Right."

"Who would have thought these words would ever come out of my mouth?" she shook her head at the thought of Chuck and Jack's camaraderie. "Jack has really turned around, it seems. Even his hair is much different now." She emphasized.

"You seem disbelieving, but he has." Chuck agreed, "He's played me, but he's really been there for me, like _family_."

At that comment Blair felt her insides tighten and a wave of sadness engulfed her heart whole. Once upon a time, it had been her who was his family. She had professed to Chuck that she would always be his family, and then she had let him down, pushed him away and even told him that he wasn't welcomed to ask her for advice anymore, when he had only sought her out as a friend during his most recent ordeal with Elizabeth Fisher. She regretted saying that but that was all she could do for now. She couldn't take it back or fix it, like many other things she did. It was too soon.

"I'm happy for you." she told him candidly as she brushed the back of her hand over his. Chuck flipped her hand over and ran a finger down her wrist lazily, reveling in the softness of her skin.

The little signs of affection between them felt completely natural but still foreign somehow.

"Do you know where the next game will be?" she added a moment later, swallowing a lump down her throat.

"I don't know" Chuck responded, "But Jack will find out."

Blair was sincerely happy that Chuck and Jack had worked their problems out and were now joining forces in the same cause, at long last.

"To Jack!" She exclaimed dramatically, "We should make a toast. To Jack!"

Chuck nodded affirmatively.

"Pick one." he proposed to her.

Blair picked up a bottle of bourbon from the selection and handed it to Chuck. Chuck received the bottle from her and opened it to pour a generous amount in each glass. He raised his glass in the air, ready to clink to well wishes, waiting for her to do the same. Blair picked up her own drink and went to raise it in Chuck's direction for the toast. The glass slipped through her clumsy, impaired fingers, shattering on the floor with a loud noise. The liquid splashed all over her dress and pooled on the floor.

"Oh no!' Chuck gasped in horror rushing around the bar to Blair's side.

Blair was completely stunned at the scene she had just caused. She put one hand over heart, mouthing a horrified 'oh my god'.

"I'm really sorry about your dress. Damn it, I should have ordered champagne. It wouldn't have stained like that" Chuck apologized to her for good measure.

"No. It's okay. I'm sorry for the mess." Blair tried to assure him, "I shouldn't have had anymore to drink for the night. I need a washcloth to clean my dress. I don't want the stain to dry on it."

"Come; let me give you something to change into." Chuck offered, "Then maybe you can catch some rest. You must be exhausted from your day. You came all the way from Paris." He pitied.

Blair picked out his tone.

"You look pretty exhausted yourself" She countered, "Definitely look it more than me."

"I had an eventful evening." Chuck shot back feeling a little frustrated at Blair's slow walking pace, yet accusatory tone. "At least I'm kind of functional." He added jokingly.

Blair frowned at his comment and suddenly halted her step, deciding to stand at her position against the frame of his bedroom door, and refusing to step inside of it.

After Chuck's three attempts to budge her from the door went unsuccessful, he just walked past her into the room to stand in front of the mini dresser. He pulled open a drawer to retrieve the necessary items.

"Sepia or navy?" he announced coolly, turning to face her and holding two pairs of silk pajamas, one in each hand.

She remained encroached to the door, looking at him sternly, almost angrily but not quite. His question went unanswered.

He figured something he just did must have offended her. And he didn't know what to say not to make it worse. He walked up to her standoff position at the door.

"Sepia or navy?" he asked her again, this time softening his tone.

"I don't think I'm functional enough to make that decision." She replied challengingly, narrowing her eyes at him. However, a hint of a smile started forming on her face.

"What are you smiling at?" he demanded, his expression turning quizzical, though internally he released a sigh. "Are you playing one of your little tipsy Blair games?"

Being away from Blair for so long, Chuck had forgotten how moody she could be sometimes. And her moods can be a real test, so Chuck was planning to tread lightly.

"No." she responded, smiling a little wider. "I'm smiling because this is the navy pair I bought you when you helped me get an A on that Econ test. I can't believe you still have it." she gushed over the garment.

Blair felt a little flutter swim in her heart at the fact. She thought she instantly loved Chuck more in that moment.

"Even if I were offended, I do forgive you now." She said, tapping his nose and drawing a smile to his lips at the gesture.

"Believe it now." He replied, "It's one of my favorites." He extended the pajamas to her. She took the silky material in her hand and turned to walk towards the bathroom of his suite.

"I know my way." she assured him before he could open his mouth to speak. "I'll be right back."

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.

.

Twenty minutes later, Blair walked back into the bedroom. Chuck had changed out of his clothes into his own pajamas and was lying on his side facing the wall. He was completely silent so Blair didn't know if he were awake or not. Blair noticed a drink of water was placed on the table on her bedside. She took several gulps of the liquid to sober up before she climbed into her side of the bed.

"The dress is irreparable." She announced to him as she climbed in, testing if he was sleeping or not.

"I tried to dab it with a washcloth but I think I better take it to the cleaners tomorrow." She lamented her exasperation.

"I hate it when that happens." He spoke up, surprising her, his voice somewhat muffled by the pillow he was resting his head on.

"Me too." she whined in agreement. She moved a little behind him, throwing her arms across his waist tentatively. He didn't react to her closeness so she moved up some more until she was pressed against him.

"But I'm happy about this right now." she confessed contentedly.

He turned around in her arms and locked her gaze with his own. They stared into each other's eyes for a long, meaningful moment, just completely taking each other in. It had been so long since they shared this level of closeness with each other. It wasn't simply the fact that they were lying in a bed together, that, they hadn't done in a long time either. Not since the fall of Blair's 20th's birthday, but this closeness was way deeper than their physically proximity to each other. This closeness was the _bare-your-soul-to-me _type of closeness and they were reading it in each other's eyes, charged with the gravity of their emotional bond and sexual desires. And that particular closeness, they hadn't shared since before the Empire debacle. It was a rekindling.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he noticed moisture in her eyes.

"Nothing."

"Are you feeling better now?" he inquired, still a little concerned at her earlier state of mind.

"Yes." she replied curtly.

"But something is…" He persisted, wanting to know.

"Nothing." she swore again. "Just… this seemed so impossible before and now it's all happening. It's going to take me a while to get used to it again."

"Me too" he seconded. "But we're here now, so I don't even want to think about all those things that used to keep me up at night anymore. The spell is broken. You're here now and I just want to be in the present with you."

She nodded at his sweet words. She felt the same about him.

"Did you find the mouthwash?" he asked her after a moment of silence passed.

"I did" she replied, giving him a hint of her minty fresh breath.

"Good, minty." he replied

She lifted her arms to stretch a moment, wringing her neck on the pillow.

"Okay, now go to sleep. You're tired"

"No" she protested, "Suddenly being here with you, I'm not tired anymore. But, you go to sleep." She scolded him. "Don't tell me you're not exhausted, I saw you yawning earlier."

"When?" he asked incredulously.

"After our big last win at the blackjack table; Then again when we were waiting for the elevator; Then right before you poured me that bourbon. I did see a yawn escape your mouth."

"So now you're a stalker?" he questioned teasingly.

"You rubbed off on me, Bass." she replied equally amusing herself.

"That's not how I prefer to rub off on people."

"Oh God, some things never change." she feigned her disgust at his naughty suggestion.

"Now go to sleep." he warned her, "It's for your own good."

"Make me."

"Blair." he cautioned her teasingly.

"I'll need a little more coaxing." she taunted him.

"What? You want me to sing to you?"

She shook her head disapprovingly.

"You want me to tickle you?" he drawled sexily.

"Bass, I forbid you." Blair shrieked in anticipation, crossing her arms in front of her face in protest as she brought her knees up to shield her chest.

"Oh, you shouldn't have." Chuck teased her as he started to tickle her ribs. Blair squirmed on the bed as a fit of giggled seized her. She threw her limbs in the air, attempting to escape his grasp to no avail.

"Chuck, stop! I'll go to sleep." She finally surrendered.

Chuck had the biggest smile on his face as he withdrew his hands from Blair's sides. She was glowing with happiness, he couldn't help it.

"What?" he asked when he saw her looking at him in awe.

"You're so damn _cute_." She replied, thoughtfully picking out the word _cute_.

Chuck thought back to a couple of hours before when he had thought the same thing of her. He remembered thinking how offensive Blair would find that particular word "cute". And he thought he'd feel the same if it were used in reference to him. But Blair apparently could do no wrong. She was now lying in his bed using the very same word to describe him and he was actually content with it. However, he decided to keep that thought to him.

"What did you just call me?" He pretended he didn't hear her.

"Come on, turn around." she said, "I want to spoon with you."

"In that case, you turn around so I can be the one to hold you."

"No." she insisted, "I'm the one who wants to spoon you. So I should be the big spoon and you can be the little spoon."

"Hey don't ever call me little." He reprimanded.

"Big. Mr. Big." She replied in her sexy vixen voice, a giggle escaping her.

"That's more like it" he agreed as he pecked her lips gently. She kept her lips lingering on his a little longer before she pulled back. He turned around in her arms and Blair threw her arm over his hip as she fixed herself up behind him. She let her nose rest in his hair and her forehead against the top of his head. She sighed contentedly as did he. It felt so good to be back in each other's arms. Nothing else was uttered after that audible sigh and they fell into a deep peaceful sleep.

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.

.

Blair stretched her arms over her head as she walked into the kitchen area of the suite the next morning. She didn't notice Jack sitting on a stool at the bar as she went to retrieve a bottle of water from the little pantry.

Jack cleared his throat and broke her out of her oblivion.

"Oh Jack!" she exclaimed, "You startled me."

"Morning." he bid her.

"Morning to you too." she returned, "I'm surprised you're up and sober this early. I figured you and your 'friends' took the party somewhere else after Chuck and I left."

"We did take the party a couple floors up." he informed her, "But once I was on a roll with the game, I didn't need that much alcohol. Little known fact, I actually prefer not to drink when I'm in the zone."

"I beg to differ." she joked, remembering how wasted she got the previous night while they were winning all that money. "I was telling Chuck, I can't believe we made all that money in one night."

"It seemed like you were a natural at that roulette table." Jack praised her gambling skills. "I guess Chuck and I have you to thank you for your generous contribution to our lump sum. You did pull in 500k in one seating." He reminded her.

"Oh, no thanks required." she blushed off the compliment. "Chuck and I are in this for good now. I need to prove it to him. I'm glad I was able to help out."

"I'm glad you came too." Jack told her sincerely.

"Thanks again for the call." She admitted gratefully as she approached the bar where he was sitting. "Chuck and I are in a good place now and we weren't before that call, so I guess I do have something to thank you for as well."

"I did it for my nephew." Jack tells her seriously, making sure she gets his point.

"I know how important you are to Chuck. And I hope it's for the best." he added, "He's already had to deal with enough hurt. I don't think he deserves anymore. Hey, I like to mess with him from time to time, but that kid needs a break."

"It's for the best." Blair assured him. "I admit I was playing games. But Chuck is the most important thing in my life. I faced losing that. I would never put myself in that predicament again."

"Well, then, make him happy. I'm sure you know how." Jack advised her.

"I will" Bair promised him "I will do my best."

"So what are you planning to do with all that money?" Blair asked him after she took a long gulp from her water bottle. She then moved to take a seat on one of the stools.

"We don't have a plan yet." He answered her. "This is Bart we're talking about. When we have enough money in place, we'll start thinking. We can't do this the easy way. My brother is not a negotiator."

"I see." Blair affirmed in understanding. "I know you have your differences, but I don't understand why he'd do that to you, especially after you helped him remain in hiding for three years."

"I'm doing this for Chuck more than myself at this point" Jack disclosed to her, "I accept the fact that Bart will never see me the way I want him to. But I watched Chuck build that company up even after everything he was put through for it."

"You mean everything with Elizabeth?" Blair inquired.

"I mean, just everything, all the stuff that happened ever since the death hoax. Elizabeth, Russell Thorpe, the sexual harassment scandal, and the deal he and I made about you. I know it's been very damaging to your relationship with my nephew. I want to apologize for causing it."

Blair didn't say anything back but she looked him in the eye for a brief moment and saw the sincerity of his apology displayed there.

"Bart wouldn't have anything to do with that. Would he?" Blair pressed on, suddenly her curiosity piqued.

"What do you mean?"

"I m just curious to know if Bart would have had anything to do with the hotel trade; It could have been another one of his tests, to see how much of a 'Bass' his son actually is. I don't really put anything past him."

"No. That was all me." Jack confessed solemnly. "I had let my jealousy for my brother get the better of me. But I do regret ever coming between you and my nephew. I shouldn't have been testing Chuck and Bart shouldn't be pulling those stunts either. You can really mess up a person like that. Chuck was always a better person than that." he reflected, "Which is why, I had to bring in Elizabeth to mess him up the way I needed."

"Elizabeth had me fooled too. I guess I never realized she did drive Chuck to that sick place." Blair admitted pensively, "Not that Chuck is blameless, but this does make a lot of sense. She really got into his head."

"But…If you were protecting Bart during that time, it doesn't make sense that you were pursuing his heir out of jealousy."

"I wasn't aware Bart was alive at that time." Jack confirmed. "Diana was the only other person who did. Bart got her escort business on the map. She owed him a favor. She only came to me when Chuck got involved in business with Russell Thorpe, wanted me to keep an eye out. Chuck and I have been on good terms ever since."

"I am pleased to hear that." Blair perked up with her congratulation.

"Oh, I'll be pleased to receive that save-the-date in the mail, one day too." Jack teased her knowing it would get a smile out of her. He picked up her hand daintily and placed a light kiss on her knuckles.

Chuck stood in the entrance to the kitchen area watching the scene between his uncle and Blair. It surprised him that his stomach didn't start doing flips at the sight of them sharing a moment. Normally, his blood would boil in anger at remembering that Blair and Jack shared a past. But now they were both two completely trustworthy allies and he didn't even mind the flirting, although he would prefer it if that was the last of it between them… Okay, well he did mind the flirting, but he decided to trust the two of them instead.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Chuck cleared his throat as he joined his uncle and Blair by the bar.

"No." Blair reassured him. "Jack and I were just talking."

"Just talking." Jack agreed right behind her.

"About?" Chuck inquired.

"_You_." Blair gave him a quick retort. She took one of his hands into her own and kissed it. "And a lot of others things, too. Good Morning" She added.

"Morning." He responded "Want to join me for breakfast?"

"I'd be happy to." Blair exclaimed as she got up from her stool to walk in the direction of the room.

Chuck and Jack both had amused expressions on their faces as they watched her go.

"But Chuck," Blair returned a minute later. "I don't have any clothes"

All three of them broke out in a huge laughter fest.

Jack was clearly enjoying himself too much. Chuck just looked at his uncle like he'd grown a second head.

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.

.

"That's a pretty big deal, Blair." Chuck resumed his commentary, when the waitress excused herself after taking their orders.

"Very" Blair replied, smoothing down her dress on her lap.

Geraldine, one of the younger maids at the hotel had been terribly kind to go run the 'Dress Emergency' errand for Blair. She had returned with a yellow summery dress which fit Blair perfectly, along with some underwear and even a little straw hat. Both Chuck and Blair had given her doubly a generous tip for the success of the whole thing. They were extremely pleased with the finds. Blair was admiring the color of the dress as she spoke.

"I was initially surprised at the news." Blair confessed candidly. "I mean, it's my mother we're talking about. My mother has worked so hard to establish herself and this company, I really didn't expect her to hand it over to me, especially given where I am with school and my career at the moment. And I did consider not accepting the position right away, but I think, it could also be the best thing for me right now."

"Why's that?" Chuck wondered curiously.

"After the year I've had." Blair offered, "It's just what I need."

"I can understand…" Chuck started to say but Blair interrupted his speech.

"It's not just that either. It's a good step for my future. This is the age I have to start establishing myself. We both need futures. And I completely understand what you were saying that night at the Empire."

"I never really figured what I really wanted to do." She continued. "It's not so bad my mother figured it out for me."

"I always thought you'd end up in some kind of executive position." Chuck admitted to her. "You're just a natural at being the boss."

"One of the many reasons why you love me" She reminded him teasingly, "One of the many reasons why I love you too."

"So you're saying you love me because you get to boss me around?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrow. It was one of his _I-can't-believe-I-love-you-this-much-you-crazy-person_ type of eyebrow raise.

"No." she scoffed off the silliness in his statement. "I'm saying I love you because you're a boss in your own right."

"When we were dating, you bossed Dorota around more than I did." She added to convince him of her point.

"As if that could ever compare to what Arthur had to endure." he countered her point.

Blair had to concede and broke down in laughter at the memory, as did Chuck.

The server approached their table and placed their orders in front of them. Blair was having her usual fruit and yogurt; she did order some French toast on the side. Chuck started off with his coffee and some scrambled eggs. He reached his fork over to her plate and lifted a blueberry into his mouth, humming while savoring the taste of the fruit. Blair just stared at him, blinking her eyes almost in disbelief, waiting for an explanation.

"What?" he demanded when her stare wouldn't budge. "You were not going to eat the whole thing anyway. Sharing is caring." He reminded her.

Blair rolled her eyes at his silliness and started to dig her fork into her fruit.

"But seriously." Chuck said as they were eating, "You will be the perfect fit at Waldorf Designs. Who better to carry on the name than The Waldorf herself."

"That's what my mother said." she exclaimed.

"Well then, your mother and I agree."

"And you are two of the people who know me best." Blair considered aloud.

"What about Bass Industries?" she asked, "Did you come up with anything while you were sleeping?"

"It's difficult, because we don't need just any plan." Chuck started to explain, "We need a plan to face Bart Bass. Everyone knows he's a titan. I may have had the privilege to observe him for eighteen years, but no one really knows what that man is thinking. The best way would be to get inside his head. But how?"

Chuck shrugged and Blair instinctively reached out a hand to soothe him.

"You'll figure it out." She assured him.

"I don't know. I'm just going to try and win as much money as possible. That's the best plan for now. If it doesn't work then we'll make another scandal. That'll boot him right out." Chuck declared to Blair's horror.

"Maybe all you need to do is talk to him again. Who knows if he was acting rationally?" She suggested hopefully.

"I know my father."

"Chuck, a scandal?" Blair pleaded.

"That's not what I would want either but it is our last option. My father doesn't care about me, Blair, and he isn't playing nice. Why should I be the one to play nice?"

"But he's still your father." Blair reminded him.

"That doesn't mean anything. A lot of people father children and it doesn't mean anything."

"He came back to give you blood, I think that means something."

"It'll only mean something if he wants it to." Chuck maintained.

"But you have to want it as well." Blair retorted.

"I wanted it for long enough" he admitted to her then, "I fought for him. I took down his enemy and the only way he repaid me was by breaking me down and telling me I haven't done enough, telling me I shouldn't love the person I love."

"I don't want to come between you and your father, Chuck." Blair said hesitantly, finally confessing her fear.

"You didn't. You haven't" Chuck assured her. "My father is the one who wants to come between us."

"I think you need to think about this. I don't want you to regret it."

"I will." He confirmed.

"So, what was Jack saying when I left to get ready?" Blair changed the subject.

"Something about Spain, we're going there next." He revealed to her surprise.

What about you? You want to tag along?" He inquired further when she gave him no indication of her plans.

"No." She said. "I'm going back home to Paris. I'll be in Eleanor Waldorf's school of career making this summer."

"I'm glad we worked everything out" she added gratefully after a moment. "I love you. I'm glad I don't have to go back home with my heart in pieces."

"We would only be torturing ourselves if we didn't give in one more time. I love you too. I believe you and I will work through this." Chuck said.

"I believe the same."

"How are we going to do this?" He wondered skeptically.

"Electronic communication, you call, I pick up. I text, you reply." She explained curtly. "I'll still write you a postcard if you want me to"

"You know what I'll have to say." He answered, batting his puppy eyes.

"Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew?" She teased him

"You do, Blair Cornelia Waldorf."

.

.

**I wrote the 1st chapter sort of one-shot style, and I tried to be careful to write this second chapter as another one-shot style to complete the 1st one-shot. I tried to give a inciting incident, a climax and a resolution in both chapters, just in case I become displeased with this fic and stopped writing, that it won't end in media res. **

**But my plan is to continue this fic. The first two chapters focused heavily on the Casino, gambling theme and the time frame is just a couple of hours into the next day. I do plan to move forward with this fic as a Chuck and Blair fic. Since, if I wanted it to simply be a Casino fic, I think the two chapters I wrote would suffice. But my goal is to move it forward. Next chapter I'm going to introduce a new story line along with addressing several things that were already established in these chapters. I hope I did give the Chuck and Blair "We're working on it" theme some resolution. I made them confirmed their ILYs at the end of both chapters so it's clear they both want this.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or Chuck and Blair and I have no affiliation with the real life people I mentioned in this chapter. All rights are reserved to their respective owners.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my awesomely amazing Jade-Jacqueline. She's been so encouraging of my writing, so thank you.**

**And huggles of huggles to my beta (Liz) Dr. Holland. She is super amazing. She makes me more confident to write and I couldn't appreciate her more.**

Chapter 3

"I can't believe they wrote that about me. This is ridiculous!" Blair screeched the second she greeted Chuck on the phone.

"I wasn't even in Monaco for forty-eight hours, as they're claiming. And I certainly wasn't behaving drunk in public." She scoffed in outrage at the report. "I can't believe they wrote that about me!"

"Did you read the part about me parading my on-again-off-again, new money troubled lover? That was about you!" she spat, grabbing a fistful of the newspaper. "These people just keep trying to disgrace me, as if they haven't done enough with how they spun the news of the divorce to make it look like I was entirely at fault. I can't believe they would write something like that about you!" She shrieked.

"I'm reputable for my business style," Chuck reminded her, much calmer about the news than she was, "not my personal life. You of all people know I'm rather notorious for the latter. One newspaper article is not going to affect my business."

"But it still makes you look bad. It makes us look bad together."

Chuck huffed a little at Blair casually, absently mentioning that they were 'together'. However, he wouldn't say anything to her about it. He knew that if he brought it up _again_, he would only upset her more.

"I have stopped caring what people think of me," he replied. "I know it's not the same for you, but don't let this drive you crazy. There will be many other newspaper articles in the future and they won't all be saying nice things about you or me, or… _us,_" he added sheepishly to drive his point home.

Chuck could hear a sudden gleeful hitch in Blair's voice at his reference of them as an 'us'. More than anything at that moment, he felt chagrin at having admitted it to her. It was quite silly why Chuck would feel this way because he completely wanted to be with Blair. He wanted nothing as wholly as he wanted this girl. In fact, he and Blair behaved a lot like they were back together_ because_ he had allowed it. And returning there with her had been incredibly gratifying for him but it was also his problem.

He was sure there was no doubt in either of their minds, even his, that they would work it out this way things had been progressing, he knew this would be it for both of them, yet he felt very hesitant to let her completely in. When things had been easy before, when he gave her exactly everything she said she wanted, he had lost. His reason now was more selfish than anything else, but it was some twisted self-preservation method and he couldn't shake the fact that he felt that way. If he and Blair were to have everything else, even behaved it like it, he would withhold the privilege of actually claiming they were anything. He also reasoned it was to their benefit. They needed to move slower anyway, and his stalling would ensure it.

"This is what Gossip Girl was preparing us for," he told her, resuming the conversation from where he trailed off. "Being in the spotlight comes with a territory."

"Only a handful of people read Gossip Girl, this is world news," Blair pointed out, smoothing the newspaper over to scroll down the article once more.

"You were the unofficial queen of the steps to a museum. This is the principality of Monaco and you were its real life princess. It's not going to be the same thing." Chuck was attempting to be reasonable.

"I know," Blair whined as she glared at the printed words.

"Well-"

"I don't think I ever want to step foot on the square mile of jagged coastline again."

"I'm sorry. I guess it was ill advised of you to come to Monaco," Chuck offered sympathetically. He knew where Blair's frustrated mood was likely to lead so he was trying his best to soothe her.

"Well I didn't know when or if I'd get another chance to see you," Blair explained. "When Jack called, I had to come. I couldn't take any risks. I knew I needed to show you how serious I was."

"I appreciate the gesture." Chuck said, his voice echoing the candor in his statement. "But honestly, you had to know going to Monaco unfortunately something like this could have happened. I'm sorry for how this makes you feel, but you were the princess of their principality. You are always going to be a topic of conversation for them."

"Must one mistake I made follow me for the rest of my life?" she demanded mournfully. And suddenly tears were welling up in her eyes.

"If it were just any mistake, Blair," Chuck tried to reason. "You married their prince. You took his last name. You wore his title and family jewels. They're going to have something to say about you."

There wasn't much Chuck could do but be honest with her. Blair had been the one to request that they be completely honest with each other when she had come to fight for him in Monaco and he was going to hold her to it.

"I know what I did, Chuck," she shot back irritated; feeling her frustration heighten at Chuck's overbearing rationalization of everything. "I was there when it happened," she shrieked, "but what they printed is completely untrue."

Blair wasn't in the mood and Chuck was being unnecessarily more rational than supportive and it was grating on her nerves. She wanted to pull him and shake him into her amazingly understanding 'boyfriend' that he used to be. She had solely called because she hadn't really wanted to be rational in the aftermath of such a character assassination. Valid point or not, she was feeling like he wasn't of much help.

"I know," he tried to soothe. "I'm just making you understand."

"I do understand," she confirmed."I just think everybody deserves a second chance."

Chuck heard her huff in exasperation.

"I feel like I'll never recover from this," she added sorrowfully as the regret of her mistake overcame her. "No matter how I try to move on with my life from now on, I'll always be remembered as this girl, this foolish princess wannabe."

Chuck could hear her small sobs hitching her breathing from his end of the line, and he very much wanted to comfort her in that moment, but he waited for her to speak again. He knew she had more on her mind. He also knew that in her state, his soothing could easily be mistaken for him pitying her. And he certainly didn't want to be on the end of her mood swings.

"But that's never really been my dream. What I've always wanted is to be a powerful woman. When Louis came, it was easy, too easy," She lamented, the roughness of her sobs saturating her voice. "But I should have known better."

"You will recover," Chuck assured her. "You'll be exactly the kind of woman you want to be. But this is the way things are going to be for now. It's still very fresh in the press. Your marriage was only months ago."

His tone was soft and pleading and Blair picked up his well-meant intentions. He simply wanted her to understand.

"I just don't want to be the girl known for her high profile relationships with men rather than Blair Waldorf, who I really am," she confessed.

"You were the one who originally made a name for yourself, Blair," Chuck promptly reminded her, remembering how Blair's Head Bitch In Charge attitude had been one of the main reasons why he had been so fascinated with her from the beginning. "And it wasn't about who you were dating at the time. Nate couldn't really get you on the social map at fourteen years old. You did it yourself."

"I want to be that girl again," Blair admitted, a little buoyancy returning to her voice. "I do hope it's not too late. There's a chance I can achieve that with my mother's company. I really want to regenerate the Waldorf name as my public image."

"Well, if you must know, you never stopped being a Waldorf in my book," Chuck admitted and earned a little 'aw' sound from Blair. "I think you'll always be that for me. Nothing rings quite as good as Blair Waldorf."

"Except for Blair Waldorf Bass," Blair joked lightly, her wit instantly returning to the tip of her tongue; but then added "Perhaps, one day," a little more seriously at the end.

Chuck shook his head a little amused at how Blair seemed to always be testing him.

"Oh really?" he retorted, challenging her with his tone.

"Like you haven't thought about it," she countered, taking the bait.

"I know you know I have." Chuck sighed. He knew there wasn't much he could do to keep his thoughts from Blair so he might as well just tell her. Even though getting engaged wasn't something they ever discussed, it had somehow become a rhetorical theme of their relationship. It also seemed like all their friends and family had the same idea about them.

"And?" Blair prompted, seeing Chuck relent a little. "I'm really intrigued by Chuck Bass's idea of marriage. Do tell," she pried, a little seductively.

"Well, I'm intrigued with your idea of marriage as well, Waldorf. Why don't you tell me?" Chuck retorted, continuing to challenge her on the same level she was challenging him.

"Shouldn't we reserve these discussions for when we're actually back together?" Blair snapped when the question came back around to her. She decided she wasn't truly ready to talk about marriage, seeing as she was still reeling from what the royal family had pulled on her. However, she realized she wanted to have the option to do so with Chuck; but Chuck, he had decided to move things along much slower than she would prefer.

"… Whenever that is, _you_ decide we're back together," she pressed on, now that her focus was Chuck and his cock-blocking of their inevitable reunion, which she was sure was already set in stone.

"I understand where you're coming from," She affirmed a while later after considering his points, "but given that this is something we both want, Chuck-"

"Blair." Chuck held his ground. Chuck always loved Blair for her stubbornness even if sometimes he knew it could be the worst thing to ever wish on anyone. However, Chuck himself was easily Blair's match in the same way, the best and worst of her, and he certainly could keep up with her. "Where we are right now is fine," he insisted. "And there are reasons we aren't back together right now," He added sternly.

"Well then, how would you sum up this current state of affairs, Chuck?" Blair inquired in more of a resigned tone than a commanding one. Blair herself knew Chuck was a match for her pushiness.

"You and I are working on things," He said reassuringly, "This is what working on things looks like."

Blair scoffed off his response, but Chuck was more amused by it than anything else.

"Eventually," he teased her before hanging up. "Be patient, Waldorf."

.

.

.

"I have a package for you," Jack announced to Chuck as he came to lean against the hotel door of his bedroom, holding a small flat envelop in his hand.

It was the day before their last in Madrid and after the roll of success they'd had, he and Chuck had decided to stay two additional nights in the name of celebration. Tonight, they had reserved a V.I.P room at one of the most upscale nightclubs in the city.

"It's a little something I'm sure will help you celebrate," Jack imparted teasingly, still waiting for Chuck to check out the package.

"Chuck!" Jack shouted when no response came from the younger Bass who was fixing himself up in the full length mirror of his dresser.

"I know that as a Bass, you want to look impeccable wherever you go. But I'm telling you son, come over and get it already. My hand is getting tired of holding your little delivery," the older man whined.

"If this is what I think it is, you know I don't want it," Chuck responded sternly. "I told you I'm off that kind of stuff. I don't need it. But, Jack, you have fun with it," Chuck waved him off, not in the mood for what he supposed Jack was proposing him with.

"Actually," Jack countered teasingly, "I think you'd be pretty upset if I did."

"What are you talking about?" Chuck asked confusedly as he now turned his attention to his uncle.

"Your package is from Paris."

That was all that needed to be said.

"Oh," Chuck stuttered "I wasn't expecting..." Chuck was completely flabbergasted with the surprise and stilled all his motions at once.

"I'll be waiting in the car." Jack informed him as he handed the package to Chuck before he turned to leave the hotel suite.

Chuck took the package in his hand before he hooked his shoulder to the frame of the door shifting his weight against the structure. A small, completely imperceptible smile graced his lips when he turned over the envelope to see Blair's neat handwriting displayed in blue ink, addressed to him. He remembered that he had jokingly agreed when she had suggested something about writing him a postcard, but he hadn't thought she'd actually do it. He pulled out the card to read it.

_Chuck,_

_I just want you to know that I will fight for you any way I know how, even if that means writing you a postcard to tell you exactly that. even if that means waiting a really long time for you._

_I love you_

_xoxo, Blair._

Chuck was unable find his festive disposition the same after that postcard arrived. He felt quite overwhelmed by everything around him, the gambling wins topped with Blair's declarations of love, the air of Madrid, also the uncertainty of his future, all of it intoxicating him. He felt as if his life wasn't quite his life anymore and he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everything seemed to be going so well, except for Bass Industries, but he hadn't really allowed himself to think of what happened between him and his father much because he had only two nights in Madrid and he didn't want Bart to take that away from him as well. He decided to look on the brighter side of things, all the money he was making... _and_ _Blair_.

Blair was fighting for him.

During the ride to the club, Jack had tried to pry into his thoughts but Chuck had kept to himself and blown off all of Jack's conversational repartees.

However, once at the club Chuck did manage to have a good time. Spanish music, flashing lights, and Veuve Cliquot filtering through his bloodstream gave Chuck a happy momentum. No worry of Bass Industries entered his mind, nor would he have allowed them to, even if coincidentally the occasion for the champagne popping had been closely related to reacquisition plans for the same company.

Chuck and Jack enthusiastically chatted up with several of the other patrons who joined them in the V.I.P section, many of whom were old acquaintances of Jack from the time he used to tour Europe frequently. Only when the strippers arrived, did Chuck excuse himself from the conversation. Not that he had any problems being around exotic women, and it wasn't like he'd suddenly lost his skill to appreciate a woman's anatomy. However, he felt oddly disinterested in the gimmick. His mind readily flew to Blair as he instinctively moved to get up. He couldn't help the nagging impulse he had to remove himself from the scene, as if he now had a sense of propriety about these things. He knew Blair probably wouldn't mind one night out with Jack and they weren't 'together' or a 'couple' or 'anything'. But Chuck couldn't shake how much it was Blair that was on his mind.

"You know it's not a Jack Bass party until the strippers arrive," One of the old poker pals announced excitedly as the group of scantily clad women filtered into the room to the cheer of several of the patrons.

"I never like to disappoint," Jack Bass retorted, smarmy as ever.

"Hey Chuck, where are you going?" Jack called out when he noticed Chuck walking out of the room.

He ran after him.

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself as much as usual. What happened tonight?"

"I don't need a stripper on my arm to look like I'm enjoying myself, Jack" Chuck stated soberly, knowing that Jack's intention was to get him back to the party with everyone else. However, Chuck really wasn't in the mood for it.

"I'm fine," he assured his uncle. "I just want to be by myself for a minute, but you go have your fun."

"Okay," Jack relented, patting Chuck on the shoulder. "Tell Blair I say hi."

Chuck couldn't help smirking to himself as he walked away from his uncle. Jack knew him so well and even though they were two completely different people in character, he still reserved a lot of admiration for the older man.

Chuck made his way outside of the private room and swerved his way outside of the club unto the sidewalk. Blair was everywhere he looked even though she was nowhere near, so he decided to call her.

"Hey," she said warmly when she answered the phone.

"I was going to call you earlier," He explained, almost as an apology before continuing with his speech. "Jack and I decided to go out tonight. We're celebrating today's turnout. Madrid has been even better than Barcelona. I cannot tell you-"

"Oh my God! Chuck!" Blair wailed excitedly, "I can't believe it. I'm so happy for you." she squealed over the phone.

"Did you meet the projected quota?" she inquired as she descended from her jubilation.

"Surpassed it," Chuck announced proudly and earned another high pitched squeal from Blair.

He chuckled at her open display of support and affection.

"What about you?" Chuck inquired. "What are you doing? Did I wake you?"

"No, I wasn't asleep yet," she assured him. "I was... reminiscing?"

"May I ask what I interrupted you reminiscing about, beautiful?" he flattered her.

"Nothing about us," she warned him sadly, "just Waldorf Designs. Taking over my mother's company has been really introspective for me. Today I started drafting some ideas for my introductory season. It's really going to remind everyone who Blair Waldorf is."

"You'll be a fabulous creative director," he assured her. "I'm sure everyone will get the message." He knew it was probably what Blair would have wanted him to say but he did truly believe that about her.

"Thank you for always believing in me," She replied gratefully, letting him know she appreciated his words of encouragement.

"Remember that girl, when we were 10 years old who told me she was going to be the next Hilary Clinton. I always admired you for how ambitious you were," Chuck admitted to her over the phone.

Blair felt her heart swell at Chuck's sweet recall to their prepubescent years. She hardly remembered ever saying that to him, but of course, _he _remembered.

"Oddly enough, I always admired you for the same reason," she told him in return, "Even though I resented you for how smug you were about it."

"I wouldn't have guessed," he admitted.

"There are a lot of things no one would ever guess about me," She informed him.

"And, is this one of your reasons why I'm supposed to love you?" Chuck inquired playfully.

"Well you would have guessed that one. Wouldn't you?" she retorted matter-of-factly, "But at least it's one of the reasons why I love you too,"

"Hmm," Chuck hummed. "I think I see a pattern here,"

Chuck heard her yawn on his end and groaned a little.

"At least you have the ability to think and see right now, Chuck. I can't do either," Blair complained weakly.

"You should sleep," Chuck advised her.

"I will."

"Wow. No protest this time."

"Well it's not as much fun when you're not there in person to taunt." Blair teased.

"Good luck breaking your ideas to Eleanor tomorrow," he offered sympathetically.

"Well, I would say the same for you but you don't need any luck," She nudged him back. She had faith Chuck and Jack would pull through. They always did.

"Good night Chuck," Blair said definitively, fatigue evident in her voice.

"Oh and, by the way, Jack said hi," He announced last minute as she was about to hang up but she caught it.

"Oh Jack, tell him I send my regards, from Paris" She replied a bit livelier at the mention of her second favorite city.

"Deliveries from Paris, huh?" Chuck asked suggestively.

"What!"

"Nothing. Good night Blair."

.

As Blair fell asleep that night, she reminisced about going through her mother's archive earlier that day. Pulling out several photo albums for her inspiration board, there was a very classic black and white picture of her mother and Marisa Berenson at some black tie event. She remembered how Marisa had been one of her mother's most loyal clients throughout the years. Even when she was very young, she always adored being around fittings of the famous socialite for her impeccable style. There were also several pictures of her mother, Anita Pallenberg and a few friends arriving on a jet in Mustique, donning all white Gucci pantsuits. Blair studied the pictures for a few minutes, envying how the women were so completely carefree and effortlessly chic. She hoped she was that kind of woman. Blair had never wished to be like her mother before but she thought perhaps that was due to the fact that she hadn't really known who her mother was all that time.

There were also pictures of several dinners her mother hosted over the years, the most recent one she found in the albums contained pictures of Irina Lazareanu and Margherita Missoni who had been great fans of the Waldorf brand.

Feeling in the mood for nostalgia, Blair opened her bedside drawer and pulled out her Eiffel Tower music box, which Chuck had brought back to New York for her many years ago when he had been in Paris, as a memento, knowing how much Blair loved Paris. She smiled dreamily at all her memories of her and Chuck in Paris as sleep finally claimed her.

.

That night when Chuck fell asleep, he was holding the postcard from Blair. He had read it over and over again, wanting to find a new meaning in her words each time he scrolled over it anew. Despite everything with his father, Chuck felt much lighter. He had also received an update on Monkey. He imagined how in the fall he'd possibly fully have Blair and Monkey in his life again. He smiled thinking about the odd pairing of the two.

.

.

.

The next day Harold called and said he wanted to meet.

Later that day, Blair sat at Montsouris in the 14th arrondissment, twirling her finger in her hair and attempting to read her favorite George Sand novel in the original French text. She had been at the Musée D'Orsay earlier that day, to torture herself of course. But she had thought perhaps returning to the site of the beginning of her woes would help purge the memory of Louis and that whole royal charade from her mind. She blew a piece of her hair away from her face, a little bit frustrated with the slow pace at which she had to read French. In search of a new occupation, she withdrew a little notepad from her purse as she started recording some notes in her dainty little handwriting.

People passing by were an easy distraction for her. She simply had to watch them to find herself transported. Unlike reading, she only needed her eyes to do the work; her mind could catch a break for the time being. She was immediately taken with all the beautiful Parisian fashion. She admired all the colors that flew past her and the popular silhouettes people seemed to be embracing that summer. She knew one simple fact about fashion. Fashion is fleeting. She'd heard the likes of Carine Roitfeld and Karl Lagerfeld state it several times. But Blair also knew it was important to obverse the current trends because next season, these same trends will evolve and that's how new trends are born every year.

Blair let her mind wander far into the creations she would present at her mother's fashion house next year. Blair knew innately that she wasn't a designer. She didn't have the dexterity to work with fabric and sewing equipment. But she knew she was a visionary. She knew that she was skilled with good taste. She had the creativity inside of her and she could do well at Waldorf Designs if she truly applied herself. She just needed someone to collaborate with to interpret her vision.

"What are you doing here, sitting alone?" a voice called out to her.

Blair jolted from her deep state of dream to process the interaction she was suddenly imposed with. She looked up to see that it was her father standing in front of her.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed, getting up to greet her father with a kiss on both cheeks.

"Oh Nothing! I was just jotting down some observations, waiting for you to text me your location but I guess that will no longer be necessary. You?" she inquired.

"Making an observation as well, darling. I saw you were thinking," Harold explained.

Blair resumed her seat and patted the space next to her, beckoning her father to have a seat as well.

"How do you find Paris dear?" Her father asked as he bent to take the seat.

"Daddy, you know how much I love it here. Paris is lovely in every season. I never get tired of it no matter how many times a year I'm here."

"How's Roman?" she queried as she put her notepad back in her purse and capped her pen before putting it away as well.

"Oh Roman!" her father perked up, "he says hi."

"Let him know I say hi back," she replied. "I would love to spend some time at the Chateau while I'm in the country," Blair expressed fondly, "Clear my mind."

"That's probably a good idea, Blair," Her father agreed, looking at her meaningfully. "You know, I worry about you sometimes."

"I know you do," Blair confessed. "I'm sorry I made a public mockery of our family in the press. Whether or not there is truth to whatever they publish about me, that's not how the public sees it. They take everything as the truth. They claim I make a mockery out of them, but they're the ones making a mockery out of me."

"I read that newspaper article," her father added sympathetically placing a hand over hers, "They were pretty harsh, I have to say. However, I know what to believe because you're my daughter and I know you. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to give you the same courtesy."

"Obviously not," Blair huffed. "The public just wants to crucify me and the royal family comes out looking like an innocent little lamb that I took for a ride. It's sickening! Daddy, you know I had the best intentions in marrying Louis," she insisted defensively. "Yes, I was at fault for wanting to marry a man that my heart didn't call to, but I had gotten in too far, I didn't know how to get out."

"Why didn't you come to me, sweetie?" her father pleaded, looking her in the eye. "I would have been there for you."

"I know you would have, but I was in a bad state," She tried to explain, feeling a little remorseful for hurting her father in that way. "After everything with the baby and the accident, I just wanted to hide and make it all go away."

Harold felt so much of his daughter's pain in that moment. He couldn't fathom what it must have been like for her during that time in her life. He had never truly judged her for her choices even if he couldn't help his disappointment sometimes. However, in that instant, he knew nothing but the overwhelming love and sympathy he had for Blair. He reached over to her and hugged her tightly, placing a light kiss at the top of her head.

"I'm sorry," He spoke up after the intimate exchange between them. "I can imagine. You used to talk to me about everything. I never wanted that to change."

"But you are the one who changed it," Blair replied sincerely, "When you chose to move across an ocean to be with Roman; when you left me with a scandal to go to school with everyday. I don't hold it against you like I used to, but you can't expect that our relationship would have remained the same. It broke me in a lot of ways."

It wasn't about guilt-tripping her father for her own circumstances, but Blair felt it was time she was honest with both her father and herself about what happened years ago.

"I'm sorry if my choices or my parenting have led you to make ill-advised decisions with your own life. I know what a scandal is and I never wanted you to go through that," Harold apologized.

"I'm not blaming you dad," Blair corrected him, not wanting to cause her father anymore grief. "You can't be responsible for my choices. That's why they're_ my_ choices, because_ I_ made them. I'm not necessarily proud of them but I do hold myself accountable."

"But…" Harold added, needing to express his contrition to his daughter, "I will apologize for leaving the way I did. I didn't make it particularly easy on you."

"It wasn't. But I got over it. Despite everything that happened, the good memories outweigh all the bad, so I held on to those."

"We did have such good times when I was around," he remembered fondly.

"Yeah, we did," Blair agreed, her face lightening up at the memories of her father. "Remember how we used to go feed the ducks in Central Park. You were my best chaperon. I don't think Dorota ever enjoyed it as much as you did."

"Ah!" Harold exclaimed, the memories flooding back. "Central Park in the fall, your favorite - two cups of Dean and Deluca, it really was bliss for you, wasn't it?"

"For you too," Blair defended.

"Whatever made you happy made me happy too." Harold proclaimed.

"Remember that one time," Blair prompted, "there was that one time you ran in to rescue one of the ducks that was getting sniffed by a dog, I believe. Poor little thing!"

"Oh the poor animal was frightened. That was such a long time ago, I can't believe you remember."

"Oh I had a refresher course," she announced a little excited to recount the story, "Courtesy of Chuck Bass. Dorota and I ran into him at the Duck Pond. He saved one of the ducks from a Labrador. "

"Oh Charles, at the duck pond?"

"I guess he was walking his dog, Monkey. He has this dog now..." she started to rambled but her dad interrupted.

"Did you also happen to run into him in Monaco? I saw he was mentioned in the article," Harold inquired seriously, knowing perhaps something was up with his daughter.

"No," Blair returned honestly, "I actually went there to see him." A bit of shyness crept into her voice. "Chuck and I are working on things."

"You two are back together?"

"We're working on things," she stressed the difference between the two phrases. "This is fairly recent. I was planning to tell you. But I assure you, this is not like before. We're in a completely different place now."

"Blair you know, I'm always happy for you and Charles," her father started his pep talk, "But after everything you've been through this year, are you sure this is what you should pursuing right now? You said you wanted to come spend some time at the chateau, I agree. I think you need to take a break for yourself."

After the debacle of the last year, Harold was really starting to worry about Blair and her choices.

"I figured out what I want, and being with Chuck is part of that" Blair stated firmly, then looked her father in the eye. "I am taking a break for myself." She affirmed, "Chuck gives me all the space I need. This is not like how I've carried myself with other men in the past. I am focused on my future. I realize I need to be. And Chuck supports that, just like I support him. As much as I regret this past year, I just need to move forward with my life. I can't waste time dwelling on the time I've wasted. Enough time has been wasted. I know what I want now."

"Sweetie, I just want the best for you," Her father reassured.

"I know that," Blair informed him, "but I also know you have reason to question my actions, and I don't want you to worry about where my head is at."

"You're my daughter. I am biased to accept whatever decision you make. Your happiness is what's important to me," Harold confirmed to her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze.

"Thank you," Blair nodded gratefully. "You and mother have been incredibly supportive."

"That's what parents are for," her father joked. "Are you planning to stay in Paris with the Company?" he wondered curiously.

"As of now, that is the plan but I don't really know how I'll feel about it in the fall. I would like to resume at Columbia"

"But what about the company?"

"I won't be at the company full time" she reasoned. "I'll still be learning the ropes by the time school resumes in the fall, which is why I want to be as involved as possible this summer. I want to take my time to do this right. A year worth of apprenticeship will serve me when I do take over the company."

"I see you're thinking smartly," her father nudged. "Your mother was right to entrust you with the company. I think you'll do brilliantly."

"So you're saying you're not wholly disappointed in me?"

"No," he told her candidly, "I'm not disappointed. Who hasn't made mistakes? Yes, it has hurt my heart to see you make so many of them, some very public ones. But I truly couldn't be more proud of you. You're my daughter and I love you." He told her affectionately.

"I love you too."

.

.

.

Chuck pulled up to the Waldorf-Rose residence to warm rays of sunlight beaming on his forehead and a breathtaking view of Ile Saint Louis charming his senses. He stepped completely out of the town car to stand on his feet as he shut the car door behind him.

"Merci beaucoup," He told the chauffeur as the young working man held out his suitcase for him to take. Chuck pulled out a handy hundred dollar bill to the chauffeur and waved him off. "You can go now."

Ever since he had landed at Charles De Gaulle earlier in the day, Chuck had a good feeling about the prospect of his day. He even stopped at one point to consider how agreeable the weather was, feeling a new sense of serenity seeping into him and he wondered if it was the city, the money, or something else that was making him feel that way. Chuck didn't know exactly why he suddenly felt overwhelmed with relief and peace about everything. And normally, he wouldn't be one to care about the weather either; it was the least of his problems. However, things were happening and Chuck was feeling good. He and Jack had made a boat load of money in Spain at several poker games. And now he was in Paris, and likely only a short time away from reuniting with the love of his life. He was sure she was the love of his life. He had been sure of it for quite some time, yet, it still didn't cease to awe him when the profoundness of the thought occurred to him all over again. He had to take a moment to wrap his head around what it even meant that he loved Blair and Blair loved him. He couldn't conceptualize this abstraction, the complexity of the love he and Blair had for each other.

He threw his woes of Bass Industries in the back of his mind for the moment and allowed himself to focus on the present at hand. He was standing on the stoop of that beautiful Parisian estate for a reason, and that reason was Blair Waldorf, same reason he started attributing to his new change in mood since his arrival in Paris. He figured he should think of a clever way to surprise her with his visit. He had a couple of ideas but shrugged them off, deciding, they were too Chuck Bass-y, too over the top, and that he and Blair weren't there yet.

He had to admit that he missed her, however. They had spoken on the phone and she was still very much the Blair he knew, but it simply wasn't the same. Plus the phone conversations had gotten rarer the last few days. They had both been pretty preoccupied with their own things and he didn't mind it, but he missed her. He was sure she missed him too.

When she had come to Monaco, over a week prior, they hadn't really had a chance to be together. That same afternoon, after their breakfast, she had left and returned to Paris. And he and Jack had departed to Spain for business. As he- rode the elevator up to her penthouse, it occurred to him with much more clarity why he was feeling so calm and acquiescent about the whole thing. He realized, in that instant, how this would be the first time in for as long as he could remember, that seeing Blair wouldn't come with its usual fifty-fifty chance of him getting slammed or burned. This would be the first time in years that being next to Blair wouldn't ensue the fear of his heart getting broken. His heart would be free to flutter and butterflies would be free to assume occupancy without the threat of being murdered. The last year with Blair had been exhausting. Even when she had come to fight for him at the Casino, there was no telling how the night would have ended. But in that moment, he realized what was happening was that he was starting to believe her. He had said that he wasn't sure he could trust her, but he was now starting to realize that he did. Although he knew they still had ways to go to fix what they broke.

The elevator dinged announcing his arrival and Chuck stepped into the foyer of chez Waldorf-Rose.

When no Dorota showed up to greet him, his features limped downward in disappointment. He realized how Dorota was one of the best things about wandering into the Waldorf penthouse in New York. However, within seconds Eleanor appeared in the foyer, jolting him out of his reverie.

"Charles," she exclaimed, "What a surprise! I wasn't expecting you. I didn't even know you were in Paris."

Eleanor approached him, placed both her hands of his shoulders and squeezed them tightly in a small gesture of her affection. It wasn't a hug and it didn't last any length of time either. It was just a shoulder squeeze, but the gesture caused Chuck to blush slightly. It reminded him of something perhaps Lily would do. However, it seemed that Blair's mother had grown quite fond of him over the years and now treated him almost like a son. Chuck felt a swell of pride at that. He must have done something right.

"The doorman let me know a young man was on his way up over the intercom," Eleanor started speaking, "but I had no idea it would be you. I was actually expecting Max, my interior decorator." She elaborated in her chatty tone.

"Oh, I haven't been in Paris long. I just flew in this morning," Chuck attempted to explain his sudden appearance.

"To see my daughter, I suppose," Eleanor commented as she appraised Chuck from head to toe. "Well, she's not here at the moment. Blair is out with her father. Have you not spoken to her?"

"Not since yesterday. This was supposed to be a surprise," Chuck announced shyly.

Eleanor gave Chuck a kind warm smile, seeing as he was starting to get nervous around her.

"You're surprising my daughter?" Eleanor pried, her curiosity piqued at the words 'surprise'. Waldorf women loved surprises.

"Are you taking her out?" she inquired further as she turned to walk into the living area of her home. She made her way to one of the big armchairs and sat down, then beckoned Chuck to take a seat across from her on the sofa.

"Paris is so beautiful today," he declared, "I had the intention to. But I know Blair's time is pretty tied up. I don't know if I can pull anything off today since I have business elsewhere tomorrow, but I was hoping to see her."

"You'll see her, but between the shopping, the touring and the dining," Eleanor explained, "Blair never likes to sit out when she's in Paris. Her time here is always tied up."

"I know," Chuck answered her, "And Blair's told me she's been pretty busy with the company."

"Oh yes, she has been enterprising with the company. Ever since the past week, she's really been taking her responsibilities seriously."

"She told me you were in Europe on business as well." Eleanor resumed her prying.

"Yes, I've been in Europe handling a few personal businesses," Chuck informed her. "I was in Spain just yesterday, but our sojourn there ended. This uncle of mine, Jack, the one who oversees Bass Industries in Australia was there with me. However, he decided to go to Amsterdam for a day, so I thought I'd come to Paris instead."

"Well then, make yourself at home," Eleanor offered, insisting to make Chuck feel as comfortable as possible in her home. "Our maid is out today, but I'll take your briefcase for you. You're welcome to wait for her here. She should be back anytime now as per usual.

"Would you like some tea?" she proposed as she walked away, "I was just getting up to make some before you arrived. Come with me."

"Tea, I'd love some." Chuck replied, adoring the way Blair's mother was being so hospitable to him.

"So why didn't you go to Amsterdam?" Eleanor wondered when they arrived in the kitchen. "It's not part of your business dealings?"

"No, this one is more pleasure than business. I decided to pass." Chuck admitted honestly.

"Hmm," Eleanor looked at him intently, absorbing the meaning of his words.

"Amsterdam is not really my crowd anymore," Chuck explained.

Despite Eleanor having had her concerns about her daughter dating Chuck Bass in the past, she never felt really strongly against the young man. She could always see how much Chuck and Blair were in love when they were together. She's encouraged Blair to go after Chuck many times in the past, and even tried to get them back together last minute right before Blair's 'I do' to Louis. It really wasn't her fault how everything else happened. But now seeing how much Chuck had come around, she was a little proud that Blair landed such a man.

"What kind of tea would you like?"

"I'll have whatever you're having." He decided today was Eleanor Waldorf appreciation day.

"Genmaicha extra it is"

Chuck and Eleanor had a good time drinking tea together. They chatted about everything from how much Chuck was knowledgeable about tea, which Eleanor was pleasantly surprised with, to the progress of the renovation Eleanor was doing inside the house. Chuck complimented her on her beautiful home. They chatted about Spain. Eleanor used to spend a lot of time there in the 90's. And of course they chatted about Blair and all the Blair-ish things she does that only Eleanor and Chuck and some of these closest friends and family would ever understand.

Eleanor caught herself laughing so hard at the last remark Chuck made, something about how much Blair hates to be served orange juice with pulp in it. Then they delved into how much Blair insists on punctuality from other people. Every time someone showed up late to something she'd organize, that person would certainly get a tantrum out of her. Eleanor replied in a huff that she has had the latter problem with Blair for 21 years.

The ding of the elevator sounded again breaking them out of their little chatty ambiance. The sound of heels clicking on the floor prepared them for who had arrived. Blair walked into the living room to see her mother and Chuck enjoying their tea and a hefty conversation about something. When the elevator doors had opened, she had heard her name being uttered briefly but then everything had gone silent until she reached where they had been sitting. She figured her mother had company but the tone of the conversation did not indicate that it would be the person she caught from the corner of her eye when she turned into the room.

"Chuck," she gasped, flustered at the sight in front of her, "What are you doing here?"

"Blair, Chuck is here to see you," her mother interjected knowing it was time to excuse herself. Eleanor could already feel the tension building in the room the moment Blair appeared in front of her.

"I will leave you two alone," the older woman added before she got up to leave.

"Chuck," Blair exclaimed incredulously as she came to sit next to him of the sofa. "What are you doing in Paris? Did you come to surprise me? Chuck, that is so sweet." she finished as she cheerfully hopped into his lap and hugged him tightly.

"I did," he admitted when she pulled away, "I would have told you I was coming but I wanted it to be a surprise."

"How long have you been in Paris?" she inquired, coming down from her jolt of excitement which quickly turned into something else.

"Just since this morning," he replied in his usual raspy low voice.

Within Blair, war was brewing. The moment she saw Chuck everything inside of her stirred. He looked so damn hot sitting on her mother's sofa sipping fucking tea from her mother's fucking fine bone china set. She wanted to take his clothes off and have him right there. Thing is, she hadn't known he would show up to her house, so she couldn't really prepare herself to have this reaction. And she hadn't known she'd be having this reaction. It had been a long time since she'd been in that place with Chuck, even so emotionally, and returning to that place had heightened her sexual impulses toward him.

"Come with me on the terrace," she proposed, wanting a change in atmosphere. "We can sit. The weather is so nice outside."

"Yes, I noticed the weather," Chuck complied.

"So, you here alone?" Blair inquired after they made their way outside to stand against the balustrade. "Where's Jack? I noticed he wasn't here when I walked in."

"Jack is tied up in Amsterdam," Chuck told her. "You know. The usual," he offered as a subtle explanation.

"Oh," Blair thought aloud, "And you didn't go with him?"

"No," Chuck retorted, "I wanted to be here with you."

Blair gave him a slight raise of her eyebrow, his cue to elaborate.

"You know that's not my primary kind of entertainment anymore."

"Do tell." Blair spurred him on. "What's your new kind of entertainment? Having tea with my mother? I did just walk in on you doing that" She teased him.

"And..." Chuck prompted her.

"And I couldn't remember the last time you had tea when it didn't have to do with you being sick," Blair reminded him. "I didn't take you for a tea in the afternoon kind of person."

"Well that's because you haven't been keeping up with me, Waldorf," Chuck retorted a little smugly. "I do take tea regularly now. Ask your mother. She and I had a lengthy conversation about it. She thought my knowledge on the subject was impressive."

"Seriously Bass, when did you become some sort of a tea connoisseur?"

"When you weren't looking," he told her, "You have missed a lot this past year with me, believe it or not. My yoga instructor introduced me to this regiment and then I did my own research and now I'm the one recommending people like your mother what regiment to get on."

"Oh God, I forgot about your yoga," Blair replied, a little amused by Chuck's new lifestyle. "You're so prim now. Don't lose your edge on me Bass."

"I am not losing my edge," Chuck shot back.

"Is that so?" She jabbed teasingly.

"Is that a dare?"

"Sounds like a challenge to me," he said. He knew where Blair was going with this. "And knowing you, Waldorf, you don't expect me to decline either. What exactly are you trying to get me to prove here Blair?"

"That you haven't lost your edge," she taunted him further.

"With your mother being only feet away, how am I supposed to do that?" he challenged her.

"Hmm, Bass, I call that a cop-out," she replied amused that she was making him sweat. "When have you ever cared about my mother being only feet away?"

"I have always cared about your mother being only feet away," Chuck defended. "You on the other hand-"

"Okay. You made your point" she acquiesced, "Stop being so right all the time, it's nauseating"

"You know you love it," he flipped his tone, now being the one doing the teasing. "By the way, apology accepted."

"What for?"

"For offending my manliness," He scooted right up to her side on the balustrade and put a hand around her waist as he pulled her into him. "But I intend to make you _suffer_ those consequences in due time." he drawled in the same raspy tone as his breath hovered over the shell of her ear.

Blair could barely restrain herself.

"I bet," she croaked out almost in a moan.

"You bet your ass," Chuck retorted, his tongue briefly flicking her ear as he palmed one of her bottom cheeks, kneading it hard.

"Ow! Chuck. No horseplay."

"Well, you were the one who wanted me to prove something."

"I know. I concede." She replied, "You clearly haven't lost your edge after all. But we are waiting and that includes no horseplay."

"I've been doing a lot of conceding to you lately" she thought out a moment later, turning her face to gaze at him.

"We're just getting on the same page," Chuck clarified."Given our stubbornness, it's a really good thing."

"I'm glad we're getting on the same page," She expressed honestly."And I know for you that includes no sex so I'm making it the same for me."

"That's all true, but Blair, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy reconnecting with each other. It just means we're waiting for things to escalate naturally. It means we don't have to rush into anything because we know better now."

"I know," She admitted. "I just fear that I don't have the self-restraint that you have, because I want you so much."

"And I want you just as badly, believe me," he told her. She had no idea how badly he wanted her. "But I also want us to do this right. This is the last chance we have to do this the way it's going to work. We have so many of our issues to work out still, and for that, we need more time."

Blair nodded in understanding and then nudged him with her elbow.

"You seriously need to stop being so right all the time. But I do honestly like that we're waiting. It's somewhat symbolic for me. It'll mean so much more when it happens."

"For me too," he affirmed, "I think this time we'll surprise even ourselves."

.

"I'm so happy you're here with me right now," Blair confessed after a moment. "When do you have to leave?"

"Unfortunately, tomorrow," Chuck informed her, "Jack and I are meeting up in Argentina. This will be the biggest game yet. We may even get into the eight figures."

"Wow, but why so soon? I wanted you to stay for a bit." Blair whined.

"I would if I could" Chuck replied apologetically, "But I don't make up the time for these things."

Chuck turned her around to show her his 'I'm sorry' face.

"I understand," she told him. "When will I see you again?"

"No Blair, you don't understand," Chuck whined a little melodramatically. "I'm the one who has to leave. How am I supposed to do that after how amazing this day has been?"

Blair made mock sobbing noises to tease him.

"Don't worry Bass. You'll manage," Blair patted him on the shoulder." But if only I had something with me to remember you by like you have that postcard I sent you."

"Oh I got you something," Chuck promptly remembered, "Wait a minute, I'll be right back." Chuck said as he rushed back inside the house.

A few minutes later, Chuck reappeared on the terrace holding a white little gift bag in his hand. Blair figured perhaps it wasn't some designer trinket because there was no recognizable label on the bag. She reached out for it nonetheless.

"What is that?" Blair asked eyeing him curiously.

"Look inside," he instructed her.

Blair pulled out a little metallic tile to reveal a beautiful picture of Monkey encased inside of it. She couldn't help the 'ooh' and 'ahh' that escaped her.

"A picture of Monkey?" she raved happily.

"I thought it would make quite an unusual gift for you," Chuck suggested, throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"But I love it," Blair countered.

"And I figured you would."

"How?"

"Because I know you love animals," He declared matter-of-factly, "And I see the way you act with Monkey the few times we've run into each other; and when I saw that frame in a window shop in Barcelona, it just made me think of you… But that's because everything makes me think of you." He told her honestly.

"Bass, how am I supposed to let you walk out of here tomorrow?"

"I will be back. Don't worry," he assured her.

"When?"

"Friday..." He thought out his response a moment, "Be ready at 7. I'm taking you out."

"Where?" she asked him curiously, suddenly excited about the date.

"Wherever you want to go," he announced, "It's Paris. We can go wherever we want."

"You, me, and Paris, I like the sound of that," Blair replied dreamily.

"Like we are right now," Chuck confirmed.

"Yes, like we are right now, with the sunset. It's like a movie."

"But even better," Chuck countered as he moved behind Blair to wrap both his arms around her waist. He pressed his chin against her shoulder, and she brought up a hand to thread in his hair. She pulled his head up from her shoulder and twisted her head to the side to look into his eyes. She then pulled a little bit on his hair to bring his face closer to her own. She pressed her lips against his and they fused in a passionate kiss. He returned the effort in her passion joule for joule, and started kissing her just as deeply, moving his hands on her body as he did so.

"Much better," she said when she pulled away to look into his eyes again and then opened her mouth to speak. "I watch my favorite movies over and over again because I like knowing how they end. But this is much better than a movie because I never want to know how it ends. I never want it to end."

Chuck smiled at her and leaned in to take her lips with his again. She moaned into his mouth and he sighed and groaned all over her neck. After a while he just stood there and held her as close as possible as they watched the sun setting over the horizon, casting an orange glow that made Blair look like some heavenly creature he had never seen before. Her gazed lingered intently on the picturesque scene in front of her as if she were scribbling notes about it in her mind. The phenomena of nature, he decided then, couldn't compare to the beauty of Blair. From time to time, Chuck would glance at the sun but he couldn't take his eyes a second off of her.

.

**Ok, so I know some people may be disappointed that Blair and Chuck didn't end up having sex in this installment but I feel really strongly that they shouldn't have. I can't tell you how frequently I have to answer questions refuting that Chuck and Blair are only based on their sexual chemistry and whatnot. It's evident that they still have it but I wanted to show a different side of them. Just because they want to have sex with each other doesn't mean they should. I wanted to show a more mature side of them, the side that values the success of their relationship over their physical desires. However, when they do start doing such a deed, I'm sure they will more than make up for lost time. You know how much Blair particularly hates wasting time.**

**Oh and I know in this chapter I mentioned Nate and I didn't mention you know who's name start with an S, it's because of a particular reasons. #creys tho**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck and Blair. They are too perfect for that. **

**Thanks to all my reviewers. I appreciate your comments so much because they inspire my writing.**

**A huge dedication to Maritza because she's flaw-free and speaks Spanish - Eiffel Tower of love for my beta Liz, Dr. Holland because she has made me push my writing so much with her flawless positivity. **

Chapter 4

La Rôtisserie du Beaujolais, the beautiful restaurant narrowly nestled on the Quai de la Tournelle, was known to Chuck among her dearest, as her favorite. Fittingly so, he mused, since the Pont de la Tournelle, a short adjacent distance from it, led into Ile St Louis – city of light in bursts of glory, day and night, Seine River underneath.

Chuck sat absently sipping a drink of water - _waiting_ – patiently fingering the tablecloth that fell around his lap in a rumple. He was anxious _to see her_, and massaging the cloth under his finger had brought a temporary quell to the creep of anxiety that bubbled in his pores.

He was anxious to see her. It had been almost two weeks since he saw her last. And everything _then_ had been beautiful and picturesque, and was supposed to have stayed that way. Except, he was supposed to have come last Friday to pick her up for dinner. It was a date! He had promised her, swelled her hopes, painted the perfect imagery of them – You, Me, and Paris, like one of those Audrey movies that made her dream _la vie en rose_.

It was supposed to be have had been _incroyable, magnifique_, when he would have landed on her stoop seven days ago, Armani oxfords, cologne, sleek black stretch limo in tow. However, today was another Friday, seven days past, and last Friday hadn't happened. He had called and sent a very-very large bouquet of peonies and a new invitation to dinner five days later when he had come to his senses. And she had responded yes, without huff and puff. He had been surprised but figured for no other reason than to rip his head off in a crowded restaurant. The Blair he knew did enjoy exacting social humiliation, and he had a lot of explaining to do. So yes, he was anxious to see her, quite nervous to see her.

His anxiety however, was also of the good variety. He was incredibly happy to see her again. He had missed her face, the tangibility of her presence, her beauty and banter. He had missed the fill of her existence terribly. And he would have come to pick her up last Friday if he didn't love her so much. But that was the problem, his _tragedy_. He loved her so much. The sunset of Paris compared to her, he loved her more. His future against her and he loved her more. It seemed his father was right even if he would hate to admit Bart was right about anything. But it was true. He loved her more than anything.

So he had stayed away, until now, a great deal for his sake.

When the clock had struck the nineteenth hour and Chuck hadn't shown up in his crisp white shirt and white gold cufflinks to lead her off into the sunset of Paris on that beautiful Friday, Blair had been disappointed but she had been far from dismayed. She had waited hopefully until 10 PM for him to arrive, and upon retiring to bed that night, when Cyrus and Eleanor had offered her pitiful looks, she had shooed them away with a deathly scowl. "Loving a powerful man is not for the faint at heart," she excused. "Powerful men have a lot of business to attend to."

She figured he would show up someday, eventually. Paris wasn't going anywhere. They would always have Paris. And she would always have _him_. Did she even have him?

However, in the tranquility and solitude of her bed, Blair had allowed herself to be saddened over the fact that he didn't get to see her in the beautiful silk Giambattista Valli which had hugged her curves so tightly she was sure it would have made Chuck reconsider. Whatever was up with him wanting to wait as some sort of statement about proving his maturity? Blair would nod her head in agreement or hum her _"Yes, Chuck you're right_" but the moment she would hang up the phone she would scoff of the thought. She was done talking to him about it. Likewise, she found she did relish the sinful idea of seducing him, so she had her angle – making him do bad things against his better judgment because she kind of had that power. Whether or not she and Chuck were having sex, he made her feel powerful in that way, in the way that they could take each other to reckless heights with so little effort. He would not be able to resist her no matter how hard he tried, simply because it was just plain stupidity and torture to deliberately try and resist each other. She was even prepared to tease him about it, knowing what his manly reaction would be upon seeing her dress. But Alas! She sighed.

Equally as disappointed she had been upon realizing that she would not have had his ear to talk off as she laid in bed that night. So much had been happening with Waldorf Designs and of course she had wanted to hear all about his South American adventures. He would have come back a little bit dusted in bronze, the thought occurred to her and a serious dreamful pout crossed her face. She wanted to melt her creamy face into the muscles of his tanned shoulders and kiss the soreness away. It would have made her happy.

Chuck dared send her flowers a shameful five days later, an apology card - _forgive me, I've been busy_ -, and a new invitation to dinner for the following Friday. Blair had been heartbroken but this had made her furious. The offense of it, she had not been able to put into words. Not even a call? Not even some fine Ladurée? She had been readily scratching a 'No' into the white sheet of paper until she'd realized how immensely more satisfying it would be to say 'Yes'. 'Yes' meant that she could _actually_ scratch his eyes off in person. She tiredly sighed the ambiguity of whether he was actually _hers_ to scratch off.

As her fury subsided with the passing hours, apprehension had settled inside of Blair's stomach. Fury had honestly only felt like a misplaced emotion in her heart. And as Blair finished clasping her jewelry around her neck and taking a final glance at herself in the mirror, she didn't feel she was angry with Chuck. She had quietly resigned to the pardonable thought that he had been busy, like she had been busy, and he simply didn't have any time to make it to Paris last week. It was no big deal, and - regardless - here he was in Paris, with reservations for two at her favorite restaurant, trying to make it up to her.

En route, she smiled fondly at the memory of when he had called the next day after the flowers, much to her surprise, to tell her which restaurant he had picked – _her favorite_. Yes, he had picked her favorite restaurant and yes he had called, so she probably wouldn't be scratching his eyes out of their sockets anymore tonight. And he had also apologized, a very sheepish and adoring yet vague apology. However, she had been too entranced by the sound of his voice to remember informing him of how upset she had been a few hours earlier. The discord that would have ensued - maybe how she was handling it was best. Telling someone you're going to bet on them, you don't actually know what you mean until you have to prove it. Sigh! It was a brand new Friday night. It was water under the bridge, like the Seine under La Tournelle, as she crossed.

Upon entering the restaurant, she spied him sitting in the familiar far off corner, _their_ corner, - he remembered - and her heart popped with elation at the fond memory. She approached the table and he got up to pull her chair out for her before he resumed his own.

Chuck's gaze was locked in hers for a meaningful moment before he turned to fix it on the glass of water in front of him, which he studied long and deep, a little bit of his fear and anxiety evidenced through his eyes, and Blair caught it.

"I don't bite," she cajoled defensively when he finally decided to look up again, a bit of teasing laced in her voice.

"But you have claws," he countered. He placed both his elbows on the table to tuck them under his chin. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes, but I understand you've been busy," she replied by way of explanation. She offered him a tight flat smile but he just continued to stare at her expectantly.

"If I didn't want to come, I would have said no. Anyway, I've been busy enough myself to have empathy for our situation. I'm not mad at you Chuck."

"Why though?" he demanded, averting his eyes to the floor. "You have every reason to be."

"Maybe because we're working on things, and the last thing I want to do is fight with you." Blair gave Chuck an intent look, the message in which she had already conveyed with her soft spoken tone. She raised her own glass of water to gulp a sip down her dry throat.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I should have at least called in advance to tell you I wasn't coming."

"Or the next day," she offered pitifully and blew the air out of her cheek in a huff. "Or texted."

Chuck couldn't resist the chuckle that escaped him as he watched Blair roll her eyes dramatically at the suggestion.

His eyes followed from her face down to her neck. He stared long at the beautiful curve of her ear and the dimples that were now dented into her cheeks, her lips stretched into a flat line as she stared back at him.

"Oh! I got you something," he exclaimed, perking up as he abruptly came back from his deep thoughts.

He reached into his pocket and gingerly pulled out a little square leather case, handing it over to her.

"You know you can't always buy me gifts right? They don't balm my pain forever," Blair said as she received the smooth material in the palm of her hands.

"I didn't get you this because I'm sorry," Chuck corrected her sweetly. "I bought it because I thought it was beautiful and it reminded me of you – just so happens to coincide with the fact that I _am_ sorry."

Blair quirked her lips up to one side in anticipation as she opened the leather case to reveal a beautiful emerald-cut platinum necklace studded with diamonds and an opal stone at the center of the pendant. She sighed appreciatively as her eyes examine the piece of jewelry.

"It's beautiful."

"Whenever I go anywhere, somehow I can't help wanting to buy you something," Chuck explained. "Simply the thought of bringing it home to you makes it bearable to stay as long as I have to."

"That's really sweet, Chuck," Blair gushed as she ran her fingers over the beautiful stone that was flickering its brilliance back into her eyes.

"By the way, you look beautiful tonight," Chuck said sweetly. He reached a hand out to rub the knuckles of her left hand that was elongated over the table, seeking just a little bit of physical contact with her.

Blair pulled her hand out momentarily to close the leather case before depositing it on the table next to her dish. She then reached both of her hands out over the table to Chuck whom gently entwined them with his own.

"Hmm," she hummed the delight of the sensation, "I blame Paris."

"Well, it agrees with you," Chuck flattered her, stroking the back of her hand affectionately.

"Not as much as Argentina agrees with you," she countered. "You put every man in this building to shame."

"You must really like you gift. Huh?"

"Well I do," Blair agreed, rubbing her thumb over his gratefully, "but it is true. You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen."

"I thought Nate was your Prince Charming," he prompted, clearing his throat.

"I never belonged in fairytales," Blair countered," but if I did, you'd be my dark knight and no prince would be able to hold a candle to you."

At that, Chuck couldn't help the wide grin that overtook his face. He had never truly struggled with his appearance. Women had always wanted him but only Blair had ever managed to make him feel gooey, _fluttering_ things with her compliments.

She reached up one hand to cup the side of his face, wiping at the grin on his cheek. Chuck flipped her hand over and kissed it.

Their sweet moment was crudely interrupted by the arrival of their waitress who gracefully swayed to their table balancing to silver domes, one in each hand. She smiled down at the couple as she placed the food in front of them. Then, excusing herself once more, she walked back in the direction of the kitchen. "Second course in few minutes" she informed in her broken English.

"Tell me about Argentina," Blair announced a while later when they were alone. "I thought you would have come back all tanned and speaking Spanish."

"Yo hablo Español, Blair," Chuck said perfunctorily and earned a taunting giggle from her.

"But it is winter in Argentina now, summer was about six months ago."

"I know," Blair winced dramatically at her memory lapse, "but I never seem to remember that fact."

"So what happened with your poker games?" she continued.

"We lost, we won," Chuck offered vaguely. "Jack made a lot of female acquaintances," he added jokingly, stressing a little harder on the last word for its double entendre.

Chuck and Blair shared a hearty laugh at the confession. The sleaziness of Jack Bass never ceased to amaze her. "Well, he wouldn't be Jack Bass if he didn't."

"So, how are things going with Waldorf Designs?" Chuck said upon recovering from his laughter, his tone turning serious. "Any major developments this summer?"

"Oh plenty!" Blair proclaimed, her spirits suddenly animated. "I'm learning so much going to the atelier every day. We're currently lining up the spring/summer prêt-á-porter collection, so there's a lot of work to do. Mother and I have also been interviewing designers. There's a promising bunch, but we haven't made any decisions yet. I'm eying two of them specifically. Seems like I have an eye not just for taste but for fashion after all," she finished with a dreamy sigh.

"How can you be surprised? Have you seen your closet?"

"Most of which, I now realize, is endowed by you," Blair retorted.

"Well, you know I'm a _giver_," Chuck said teasingly, raising an eyebrow at her and mirroring the smirk on her face.

"In more ways than one," she acquiesced suggestively.

"You know, I really do enjoy this enterprise," Blair continued, returning to her food, which she had not eaten any bit of, simply stirred aimlessly around her plate. "I hadn't known just how much I was made for fashion. I used to believe my mother was inattentive to my sensibilities, but she's known me better than even myself this whole time… Or maybe she got to know me better recently and picked up quick. But it's like we're bonding on a whole new level."

"Well I'm happy to hear that," Chuck offered sincerely. "I know Eleanor loves you very much."

"Hardly as much as she loves you," Blair tempted.

"What!"

"Don't pretend like you didn't win her over with all your tea talk and world travels."

"What are you saying-"

"And Cyrus won't shut up about your philanthropy. I think they may want to adopt you," Blair taunted him further.

"Oh I'd be so honored!" Chuck lit up with a smile, putting a hand over his heart.

Blair simply gave him possibly the most terrifying death glare of his life.

"Incest is frowned upon, Chuck."

Laughter erupted on Chuck's end and soon Blair had joined in. They didn't stop laughing until the next course had been served. The conversation was flowing between them as was the wine. Chuck had picked up on his Spanish and was teasing Blair, enjoying the little bit of difficulty she had at times catching up to him. But Blair caught up to him pretty fast and switched into Polish, little of which Chuck understood and shrugged his shoulders at her in confusion. Blair stuck her tongue out at him in victory. Chuck just laughed at her.

Then, dessert was served and it was Chuck's favorite part. He could _actually_ watch Blair eat. As she spun her spoon into the delectable spongy substance, she scooped it into her mouth. She hummed and licked her lips. He could watch the slow pulse of her throat after each spoonful. On occasion, he could see her eyes flutter closed as she savored the delicacy. Chuck was glad to pay for dinner - after that demonstration. As they exited the restaurant, a valet brought around a town car. Chuck opened the door for his queen to step in before he lowered his body into the leather cushion as well.

"I'm in the mood for a walk," Blair said as they were crossing over the bridge into the 4th arrondissement. She had been dreamily peering out the window ever since they had gotten in the car. And as she passed the pedestrians gaily going about their evening, she had had the sudden desire to have the wind in her hair. The sky was a blanket of twinkling stars appliquéd to deep midnight velvet and Blair wanted to stretch her hands out at them. The driver pulled over at the beak of the bridge and Chuck held out his hand for his queen to step out of her carriage. She handed him the leather jewelry case to put back into his pocket.

"That's what I'm talking about," she sighed appreciatively as the cool air of the night smoothed over her face. "You, me and Paris - the car was kind of getting in the way."

Chuck smiled at her.

"What do you want to do?" he asked and looked over the beautiful scenery. The night hung over them thickly, but the artificial lights glittered like particles of life and – the people – such lively, musical people.

"Anything you want to do," Blair offered generously, letting the scene captivate her senses as well.

A pleased smile graced his face as Chuck pondered a moment the endless possibility of things he and Blair could do in Paris. Not only were they in Paris, the city wherein borne all dreams and fantasies, but they weren't just anyone in Paris. She was Blair Waldorf and he was Chuck Bass and he had access to places she could never even dream of.

However, this moment with Blair was all he needed. He just wanted to be close to her.

"I've never walked over this bridge before," he suggested.

Blair turned to look at him, a disbelieving mug on her face. Chuck Bass, world-travelled connoisseur of everything, had never walked the Pont de la Tournelle. She was suddenly very-very up to it.

"Not in five inch heels," she warned, "but I have."

He fussed. "Oh Fashion!" he whined, "too much the downside of spontaneity." He wrapped an arm around Blair's shoulder, offering his frame for support as they started walking across the bridge.

"No, I'll walk," Blair affirmed, nudging him as she started crisscrossing her strides playfully. "If my feet start hurting, I'll just take off my shoes."

"But then you'll have dirt under your feet," Chuck explained with a hint of concern.

Blair chuckled. She thought it was beyond adorable when he behaved like this but she reassured him. "Once in a while, you have to do something _dirty_ in Paris."

You have to do all of the most unimaginable things you could never do anywhere else, in _Paris_.

"Well, if that doesn't work, I'll carry you home." He looked at her pointedly - then giving a light squeeze to her shoulder with the crook of his elbow, he placed a kiss in her hair.

Blair's heart bumbled at the romantic gesture. She was mentally, softly stroking the image in her head.

"Over the bridge, all the way home?" she prompted incredulously though she was flattered with the offer. "You couldn't. Your arms would get tired."

"Not for you, Blair. Over the bridge, all the way home," he drawled with a smile.

Blair gave him a challenging raise of her eyes, but he just pulled her in closer and hugged her tighter.

.

'What are you thinking about?" She asked him after a minute.

"Bass Industries," he replied curtly, unable to find any desire to lie to her in the moment.

"Why are you thinking about Bass Industries when you're in Paris and it's a beautiful night out?" she nagged, but her voice was laced with tenderness and Chuck understood why she would admonish him for entertaining his woes on such a beautiful, carefree evening with her.

"Because it's my future," he replied simply, matter-of-factly, but Blair heard the sorrow that carried through his voice at admitting it.

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's the only thing I've ever envisioned myself doing," he replied, "and it's the only place I've ever really worked to prove myself."

"Don't worry. You've proven yourself with me," she assured him. But was that even _enough_? "You won't want to be like your father, Chuck. You don't want to play his games. His legacy doesn't have to be your entire future. Maybe you should find someone else to aspire to."

She looked over at him compassionately and stroked his face gently with her thumb before she moved her hand up to rake his hair back, the familiar, yet unfamiliar gesture making her heart lap in a spiral.

"I built up this legacy," Chuck explained. "I don't have anything else." His shoulders rose and slumped in a shrug before he continued. "I never had anyone to take me under their wings, like you have your mother, Blair."

"I'm sorry," She offered sadly. "I realize how lucky I am. I wish you had someone like that."

"She's really someone great to aspire to," Chuck returned as he steeled himself to change the subject from his daddy issues to putting the focus on Blair.

"And the older I get, the more I aspire to be like her," Blair confessed. "She's the powerful woman I want to be."

"I'm really happy for you," Chuck told her, rubbing his hand over the side of her arm affectionately as they proceeded in a slow cadence. "You seem to be coming into your own."

"I am," Blair perked up in agreement. "I had it all wrong before. If I may rehash, I think my relationship with Louis has taught me one thing."

"Yes…" he prompted her, the mention of her ex-husband's name suddenly piquing his curiosity.

"I had been setting myself up for failure," she elaborated. "I was too envious of your power; I forgot how to harness my own."

Chuck turned her around in his arms to face him, looking profoundly into her dangerous orbs.

"What do you mean?"

"All along, I wanted to be a powerful woman because I wanted to be equal with you. And I pushed you away many times because I was afraid of falling in your shadow."

"Blair I'm sorr-"

Her hand swiftly came up in the air, stopping his apology mid sentence.

"You gave me the world stage on a silver platter, Chuck." She held up his chin, looking deeper into his eyes so he could see the honesty that was pooling in hers. "The only times you pushed me were because you knew I was capable of pushing back. I just couldn't grasp it. Being a powerful woman is not about being the editor of Vogue Paris or winning an Oscar. A queen cannot be weak and I was," she quaked on the last few words.

Chuck shook his head vehemently in protest, looking for the right words to undo what she had just done but Blair spoke up before he did.

"Not when I was in high school…but after, when I wasn't queen anymore…." A little trepidation resonated in her voice but he looked at her reassuringly and she found the strength to continue.

"Blair-"

"My title was my power, and when I lost it, I fell hard and then I just kept falling. And then I needed something to validate me - my relationship with you, my sacrifices for you." she sighed almost in a weak sob, bobbing her head incredulously at her youthful naïveté. "I didn't realize, power is not a title to sport on myself, it's something inside of who I am that cannot be validated by the vanities around me.

"At NYU, at W, my marriage to Louis, I sought powerful positions. But watching my mother has made me realize, being a woman in a powerful position is not the same thing as being a powerful woman. I couldn't accept that we were equals all along because we weren't in the same positions. However, I now realize how wrong I was."

"Blair, you know I've never stopped thinking you were powerful," Chuck reassured.

"Well, just like the saying goes, it's not you, it was me. I was the problem," Blair responded in a much more hopeful tone - teasingly pushing back his shoulder as she did so, "See?"

"But, I'm really sorry," she added. "I let this cost me my relationship with you and now we aren't even together and I have no idea when we will be."

"Don't you think it kills me that we aren't together?" Chuck spoke up suddenly, feeling a pang of sadness across his chest at Blair's mournful words.

Blair shook her head at him incredulously, removing his hand from her shoulder and stepping away from him. "Then stop insisting that we aren't," she spat. "What's the big deal about saying we're back together?"

"Because just saying it won't fix anything. It'll only make everything worse." Chuck spat back just as harshly.

He looked up at the sky then, his eyes searching for the answer he desperately needed. The answer that must be written in the twinkling constellations above, because it wasn't anywhere else he looked - not in her face, not when he looked at himself in the mirror.

"It kills me that I'm not okay when I look at you," he ground out, every ounce of his frustration rushing to the end of his nerves. "And it kills me when I want to just pretend to be okay because, I look at you and all I want is _you,_ but everything IS NOT OKAY."

Sad,was the word but it wasn't enough. Chuck was _devastated_.

"I'm sorry," Blair whimpered, tentatively walking to bring her body closer to him.

"We both are, and still that's not enough," Chuck shrugged. "I want something from you that you don't have."

"What is it?" Blair demanded, surprised at his open display of feelings.

"I don't know," Chuck murmured, "but if you had it I would know."

"Do you not believe that I'm sorry? Is that it?"

"I think that's part of it," Chuck nodded his head dejectedly, "not that I don't believe you. Just that I can't, there's - there's something stopping me."

"What could be stopping you?" Blair demanded. "Do you not want to be with me?

"…We're not even together because you don't even want to be with me." Blair turned on her heels, throwing her hands up agitatedly. "That's what it is."

"No," Chuck hissed, turning to watch her back as she paced absently on the sidewalk. "You're putting words in my mouth, Blair. I never said that."

"No, you don't want to be with me. That's why you don't want to have sex-" she spat accusingly.

"Blair, don't say that."

"This whole time, you've been saying how we have to wait because it's going to be so _special_. Bullshit! That's not us, Chuck. Are we ten? You've always wanted me, and now I have to push you to want me and accept the fact that you stood me up for dinner because you didn't care that much."

She stopped her pacing and turned to look at him, her face hardening with her disappointment and disdain.

"I did care," Chuck defended. "But as far as keeping the 'Us' that we could be at a distance, I have my reasons and you know it."

"Yes, because this is a game to you. And here you are holding your scoreboard and keeping a tally of reasons?" Blair threw her hands up dramatically. "Are you kidding me?"

"You said that you would fight for me, something has to keep you honest," He retorted gravely.

"You just want to punish me a little because I hurt you. Right, Chuck? The cycle never ends."

"I'm not punishing you," he corrected, his voice small and laced with the hoarseness of restrained sobs. "If anything, I'm punishing myself. I'm sacrificing the things I want for the things I need."

"But why?" she asked sadly, startled by his confession. "How will we ever be anything if you don't need me?"

"I do need _you_," he reassured, "but I need more than you, you said you understood."

"But we can have everything if you let me in," She coaxed. "We can build our futures together."

Chuck raised his head in her direction, catching her beautiful face staring back at him painfully, exchanging her bereavement with his own. If only it was so easy. Her glossy round orbs were begging him to believe it, but he had to remember it simply wasn't so.

"I had told myself the same things for months," he said. "Those days when I had it all, except - for you. I thought if you just came back to me, I'd be so happy that everything would magically be fixed because I would be overcome with happiness and everything else you give me. I had thought maybe all I needed back in my life was you and there was a time when I was so desperate to believe it-"

"But then your father-" Blair already put it together in her mind.

"No." he shook his head. "You know I could care less what my father thinks of me anymore. However, I realized I need to be happy for myself. I spent so much time being consumed with what made YOU happy that I neglected my own happiness...

"…If I'm not looking out for myself, I realize no one else is looking out for me."

"Chuck, I never stopp—"

"Blair, please," he cut her off mid sentence. He didn't want to hear the rest. It would only upset him more.

"Chuck, I didn't do any of it to hurt you," Blair cried.

Did she not understand how admitting that would only upset him more? She had done all of it deliberately and rubbed it in his face, and now she wanted to apologize?

"What difference does it make?" Chuck could only shake his head at her disbelievingly.

"If you accept that I'm sorry, we can move forward." She walked to stand in front of him, taking his hand into her palm and sliding her fingers between his. But he withdrew from the physical contact, removing his hand from her grasp and putting it inside his pocket.

"It isn't as easy as that. It isn't so easy to just forget." He walked away from her.

"What about being mature?" she shouted after him as he stopped a few feet away. "Leaving the past in the past, and how lucky we are to have found each other again." Her fingers bent into quotation marks to mock him. "Those were your words."

"And I meant them," he defended, "and I'm making the effort. But you should have never told me you didn't love me anymore. You broke my heart while I never got it back and it's left me completely vulnerable to you. I can't face that without fear. Some days I do trust you, Blair, and I want to pour all my love into you with unrestrained passion, but other times I just want to run away before I lose everything."

"I didn't mean it when I said that. I told you I was running away," she said firmly. "I have never stopped being in love with you, but what about me, Chuck? I'm completely vulnerable to you too. I trust that you won't hurt me but you have that capability."

"Did you come back to me because that's what you really wanted or was it because you had no other options?" Chuck asked seriously, now staring her down.

"I told you I was following my heart, and it led me to you."

"Humphrey," he spat, "had nothing to do with it." It was more of a declaration than a question but Blair knew she needed to say something.

"Is this really what this is about?" she cried out, "Dan, whom I told you I _didn't_ love?"

"Blair, you say a lot of things."

"That morning," he continued, looking away to avoid her piercing stare. "I asked you point blank if you had anything else you wanted to tell me and you walked away from me. And then it seemed like only when the diary blasts crumbled your safety net 'with him' did you come back to me."

"What about that night in Monaco!" Blair challenged back, "You said you loved me. You said you wanted to work on things. You told me how happy you were that I came to find you. I thought you wanted to give me a chance."

"I did mean all those things and I am giving you a chance, Blair."

"Not anything like the chances I gave you. Those were like freebies," She shot back with a little bit of venom.

"Well, we're not supposed to be keeping score with how many chances we give each other," Chuck sputtered, frustrated. "We're supposed to avoid having to ask for them."

"Why won't you just forgive me?" Blair implored, a tinge of desperation coloring her voice and Chuck felt her cry bang against the wall of his heart. But as much as she was hurting, sadly, he was hurting too.

"Why didn't you just think of me once all those time you were moving on?" He demanded. "Besides, I have forgiven you. But how was I supposed to give you something you never even asked for?"

He chanced a look in her direction, his eyes landing upon the most pitiful thing he had ever seen. He wasn't about to feel sorry for her now, she felt sorry enough for herself. When she caught his eyes, suddenly her features tightened into an inscrutable expression. He gave her a hard glare and then resumed speaking.

"You only seemed to care that we were back together," he chided her. "I wondered what was most important to you, my heart, or your rebound sex?"

Blair was livid in an instant. How dare he? She walked over to him and pushed at his shoulder roughly in admonishment.

"You know what's most important to me," she spat, offended.

"Frankly Blair, I don't," Chuck returned and the sincerity of his brutal words cut through Blair like a dagger.

She just couldn't argue against it, he was right.

"Two month ago, someone else had been what was most important to you and you even threw a 'salon' to rub it in my face."

"That's enough, Chuck!" Blair reprimanded commandingly. "I can't believe you're being so insecure about Dan."

"This is NOT about Dan." His voice was barely above a whisper though she heard it in a roar. "I don't care about Humphrey. This is about _you_. This is why I can't even…"

"You can't even what, Chuck?"

"Look at me," Blair commanded as she grabbed his face and pierced him all the way into his soul with the unforgiving blades of her eyes. "What can't you do, Chuck?"

"It isn't fair to me," he spat forcefully at her, "because I will NEVER want another woman the way I want you. My heart will never NOT be yours. Why did you do that to me?"

The sobs where coming now and he couldn't help them. He could only turn away from her.

It was horrible, like a ten pound slap across the face. At least Blair would have preferred it to the feeling of unfathomable regret at having been a cold hard bitch to the only man she ever loved.

"I have to live with the regret of it everyday, but…" she sniffed, looking him meaningfully in the eyes. This time her commanding tone had drowned in guilt and it was a soft plea that quaked out of her throat. "…I'm here now. Take me back," she begged. "I just want to be with you. Take a bet on me like I did for you."

Yes, she had pushed a button, because, instantly Chuck felt the wall of his heart start to crumble at the sight of her in front of him. It wasn't pity or resignation. It was forgiveness and love. Those words had triggered him. He had led a crusade with Blair and this was the final battle. She had fought against him at times, but in a weird convoluted way, she had always been fighting for him - against herself, against him, for him. She had pushed him away because she had been so afraid of losing him.

And that day, when she had come to Monaco and she had braved social humiliation for him. And he had asked her to wait, and until now, she was waiting for him. He remembered the postcard she had sent him, how he had thought her words were so endearing and so courageous. He knew she had meant them as genuinely as she knew how. That was the only thing he was sure of, about her. He only feared that it was not so certain that she would _always_ mean them.

However, she had broken through to him and Chuck had needed a few minutes to gather himself.

"If you need more time to get over everything, you can tell me," she told him tentatively. "And if you don't want to be together right now, I understand. You can come find me whenever you're ready. I told you I would wait however long it takes, I meant that." She assured him honestly.

She took his hands in hers once more, rubbing patterns, flipped his palms, holding four digits in a hook. She played with their fingers a little then brought his hand up to kiss it affectionately, making Chuck's head swim at the gesture.

"I just want you to be honest with me and not just stand me up for a whole week because of your conflicting emotions." She confessed squarely.

"Believe it or not," Chuck confessed in turn, "I'm angrier with myself than I am with you."

"Why?" she asked sweetly.

"The process of forgiveness - takes longer to forgive myself than it takes to forgive you. What I need is not time as much as it is honesty. If I was honest with you and myself from the beginning, I wouldn't have been trying to run away."

"Old habits," she sighed.

"Fresh start?" he offered hopefully.

Blair nodded her head happily like a little schoolgirl.

"For everything, I forgive you. You forgive me. There should have never been any hesitation of us committing to each other. I don't ever want you to doubt my love for you. Forget what I said to you at Cece's funeral like it never happened. You are my one and only. Do you believe me?"

Chuck nodded his head at her in understanding.

"No, I want to hear you say it," she demanded.

"I believe you."

"I believe that."

"Put your arms around me," Blair requested after a while as they were walking once again side by side. "I need something to hoist my weight. It was not so fun standing in five-inch heels arguing for half an hour."

"No, I agree." Chuck nodded. "It's not so fun standing on a bridge arguing with your girlfriend," he said, a smirk appearing on his features.

"Chuck, what did you just say?"

"Something about standing on a bridge-"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"You meant the part about you being my girlfriend," he teased her. "What's so surprising about that?"

Blair rolled her eyes at him with the fire of all the Basstard that he was. How could he tease her like that? He simply was the most infuriating human being she'd ever known. The capability he had to break her and grind her into ashes or puddles of tears, yet he possessed tenfold the capability to make her happy – so HAPPY.

"Ugh. I'm taking off my shoes," she whined, stopping at the railing after forcing herself to take several strides more than her legs were willing to support. "The night is too beautiful to waste complaining."

As she walked away from the railing to rejoin Chuck's side, he swept her up into his arms without warning and she threw her limbs up in the air, in reflex.

"Oh my God! Chuck, what are you doing? Put me down," she wailed.

"I told you not to take off your shoes" he reminded her. "You're going to get dirt and germs under your feet."

"So, what are you, going to carry me all the way home? It's too far. You can't. I'm too heavy."

"You're not that heavy." Chuck scoffed, rolling his eyes at Blair. She knew he'd be rolling his eyes too. He'd always told her that she was as light as a paperweight. "…But maybe not all the way to your house. I can take you to the end of this bridge and we can take a cab the rest of the way."

"Hmm. A for effort, my love. I think that would be best," Blair replied as she delightfully threw her arms around his neck in a hug and tucked her face into his shoulder.

In the cab ride to the Waldorf penthouse, Chuck and Blair had only the requisite attention span to be aware of each other, as it seemed as if they were completely oblivious to everything else around them. They were lost in each other's long gazes, fiery lips, smooth skin, and depraved whispers. Chuck's cologne which Blair had missed was now all over her fingertips and her eyes were hooded with the effect of the dosage. The wine at dinner was partly to count - however, it was Chuck that made Blair's senses go limp. She was seeing _la vie en rose_, probably every color of the rainbow as well.

There were echoes of laughter in Chuck's ear everytime an undignified request or promise was pronounced from Blair's lips, but Chuck didn't have time to process any of the things he was hearing or the closeness of her lips to the thumping vein in his neck. He was lost in the feeling of her, mingled with the conscious knowledge that she was real. The hurt had been real, the scars – he could attest to those. But here she was, kissing his hurt away into little traces of nothing. The moan that escaped her next was a heavenly note and Chuck crowned it the cherry on top of the sundae. It had this intoxicating effect that Chuck could only close his eyes to appreciate.

The car pulled up to the Waldorf-Rose penthouse and there they were on the stoop making out like teenagers, for several minutes.

"Some Me, you, and Paris, huh?" Chuck chuckled out, pulling away from her face as he thought back on the events of their day now that it was coming to a close.

"I couldn't have predicted tonight with a crystal ball if I had one," Blair retorted, equally bewildered, pressing herself up to his lips once more.

Chuck leaned in and seized her mouth in a passionate kiss that knocked all the air out of her lungs. Blair had to stumble back a little when she pulled away to regain her balance.

"You want to come up with me," she propositioned him sweetly. "I'm tired and I possibly need to take a bath. This was an unforgettable evening." She sighed contentedly.

"It was," Chuck confirmed in the same dreamy tone that didn't sound sad at all despite the big fight they'd just had. "But I think I want to stay outside a little longer. I'm going to take a walk. I'll be up in a few."

Blair pouted adoringly and Chuck kissed her sweetly one last time before he walked away from her silent protest into the night. She nudged him along before he was out of reach and then waited on the stoop a while watching the back of his head retreat into the distance.

"Take all the time you need," she called out after him, a glorious smile of satisfaction on her face. "You know I'll be waiting for you. ALWAYS."

.

.

**So, here I have Chuck and Blair finally having that much needed talk and I'm so happy that they're officially back together because the last three chapters were killing me as much as they were killing Chuck. I didn't want Chuck to send Blair away in the first chapter even though I knew they weren't ready to be together. Firstly, I wanted to be able to show that even though it was very difficult for Chuck to accept Blair back into his life unresolved (apologies don't mean squat until you can trust the mouth they're coming out of), he was still willing to do it because he couldn't fathom letting her walk away, any more times. It'd kill him. It shows that Chuck loves Blair and that he knows he needs her in his life. She's indispensible to his happiness. As unhappy as he could be with her, it doesn't compare to how unhappy he'd be without her. And I also didn't want to be harsh in my first chapter. Putting myself in the mind of these characters, of course Chuck takes Blair back in Monaco – in the moment – because, imagine how much he had missed her on top of all the epic love declarations and apologies she was making, plus his own appeal to his conscience over the things he's done to her such as the IP, etc. It was an overwhelming moment for him.**

**But then as he started travelling around without her, Spain, Argentina, this chapter and in the last chapter, Chuck started to get some distance from her, and he was seeing clearer. It shows very much that he wasn't over all the hurt. He wanted her but they were too broken. I made sure he was the supportive partner and she was the supportive partner as well, because that highlighted immensely the _Friendship_ part of their relationship. I hated how Safran said Chuck and Blair were never friends because that is a total lie. **

**The way he hesitated around any declarations of them 'being together', he didn't want to commit to her. There clearly was something stopping him, he called it self-preservation. However, amidst his moments of doubt, you had moments of trust from Chuck, like the times he told her, 'we're going to work this out' etc... He truly wanted to believe that. It indicates that he did want to trust Blair but he just couldn't figure out how because she had broken his trust so irrevocably, it seems. The catalyst was when she told him she didn't love him anymore, Chuck was still terrified of that. That is why I wrote this chapter, and I think this chapter has resolved them for the most part. And I hinted to why Chuck was apprehensive about having sex with Blair because sex with Blair involved his heart and he didn't know if he could give her that in whole yet. But I'm proud of Chuck for holding out because he valued his relationship with Blair over all the mind blowing sex he could have been having with her from day one.**


	5. Chapter 5

******Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the deliberation of the sequence of words that follow.**

******I thank all my reviewers. This chapter is dedicated to your patience. You guys are awesome and every time I upload a new chapter I reply to the previous chapter's reviews.**

******I apologize sincerely for not updating sooner. This story was ready a long time ago even though I did do many rewrites. I just couldn't get over how emotional it was and I stalled publishing it. As many time as I've rewritten it, I can't take away the depths of the scenes, the character's feelings. I decided to publish it regardless. I am not a CB antagonist and I want them happy. Next chapter will definitely polarize this one as far as emotional charge is concerned though all my chapters have emotional moments. and next chapter will be more physical so I will probably change the rating of this fic.**

Chapter 5

She had waited and he had come, driving one straight line from bliss to oblivion. In fact, the next few days that followed were absolutely heaven - heart-palpitating, toe-curling, head-swimming heaven - because he still had a hard time even believing that it was real, that all of it was real and right in his lap. Every second of everyday Blair was next to him and if he reached over, he could actually smell her, see her, touch her - elicit moans and shivers from her. She would look at him and smile. They were happy smiles, those ones, 'I'm-glad-you're-here-with-me-right-now' smiles. And then he would smile in reciprocity. If he had been across the room, he would come to her and there would be no space between them for even air to pass.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

It had been their little chant.

They hadn't been fighting either and there hadn't been any suspended tension in the air when it was just the two of them. The forgiveness they had bestowed on each other had been washing it all away and freeing them into each other's hearts once again. They simply loved each other, doing so in the most supremely gratuitous of ways, by heart and most especially by touch. The way she touched him back, it had seemed to make all the hurt disappear in a flick, in a stroke. Was it his forgiveness of her that had been diffusing out of the tips of her fingers and the fullness of her lips? Because he couldn't help but think that her touch had healing powers.

There had been laughter as well and not just smiles and moans - hardcore laughter, because Chuck had never ceased to be inappropriate and Blair had never ceased to love it - laughter on the kitchen counter, laughter on the terrace, laughter in the library when the moon was resplendent with glow. Someone else was resplendent with glow. And the ring of her laughter in his ear, that innocent act, only inflamed his desire for her. Maybe it's the way it always ended in a moaning gasp because Blair would eventually feel him hardening under her after a while. She never wanted to leave his neck and so her laughter was always directly in his ear and his response was always directly against her thighs.

Blair had stars in her eyes when she looked at the man of her dreams. The bubble was in place again and they had kept themselves to it for days on end. Although, it had been imposed with an outing in the country one day. The only outing they had taken willingly, then only because Harold had insisted on them having dinner with him and Roman. Blair would never say no to her father, whatever did he have to lecture her and Chuck about. But it was her father, the answer was always yes. Chuck kind of admired her for it even. So they flew to the chateau in Lyon on a beautiful Thursday. Harold whom was about to say something had to hold his tongue back when Chuck and Blair arrived more in love than any Parisians he'd ever seen and beat him to it. Harold swallowed hard, smiled that perfunctory smile you give the spouse of a classmate upon introduction at a 30 year class reunion. He had been rendered speechless. It took him a while before he spoke on it, post dinner, after he had had time to absorb the fullness of Chuck and Blair being Chuck and Blair in front of him. He was oddly comforted at the prospect of her daughter being in a relationship again because he realized, it did make her happy.

"Oh Charles," he spoke up, the glint of approval in eyes. "You make my daughter very happy. I was so skeptical of the two of you but I am most reassured now."

"Thank you Mr. Waldorf." He was humbled. "I love your daughter. I'm glad she's happy with me."

"Blair is glowing," Roman added.

Blair blushed and Chuck awkwardly removed his hand from her lap.

.

.

"Are you happy?" Blair asked when they walked back into her bedroom after dinner that night.

Chuck was a bit stunned by her question and looked over at her.

"Why you ask?" he queried, leaning in to kiss her full red lips that had been beckoning him all night. "Of course I'm happy. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Blair replied shrugging her shoulders as she gave him a passive look. "I realized I never asked you that. Maybe you're not as completely happy as you would have me think. In relationships, I think it's important to ask. You ask me that all the time."

"Well, that's because I want to ensure that you are always happy," Chuck replied, pulling Blair around the waist closer to him. Standing in the middle of her room, both their sets of eyes gleamed at each other in the soft light. "I can't bear the thought of you being unhappy, which is why I'm so thankful for what happened last week. I'm glad we beat that horse into the ground. I'll never let you go again." he said, kissing her tenderly for reassurance.

"Me too," Blair assuaged. "If possible I've fallen more in love with you since," she said, pulling on his lapels to bring him even closer as she looked deep into his eyes conveying her love and admiration for him.

"Hmm," Chuck sighed then prompted, "so, mon amour, are you happy?"

"Haven't you heard?" Blair replied teasingly, a hint of laughter at the corner of her lip as she pushed his jacket further off his shoulders, "I'm positively glowing and I have you to thank for that."

"Well you are now free to repay me," Chuck joked, raising his eyes suggestively at her as he caught the look she was giving him.

He swerved one hand to the back of her neck, catching the waxy milkiness of her soft curls that tumbled down her back, melodically bouncing and fanning over her shoulders. When she angled her chin to look up at him, Chuck didn't think there was anyone more beautiful than the girl in front of him.

Blair broke out in laughter at the intense suggestive look that was transposed on his face and Chuck profited of her moment of lag to capture her lips, immediately causing her to mewl under his ministrations.

"Your happiness is the most important thing to me," he affirmed seriously after a minute when he pulled away from her.

"Hey, what are you-" he admonished another moment later when she stilled her hands on his belt. "If you don't believe me, I'd be glad to show you right now," he baited, reaching once more for her lips but she quickly turned away from him.

"Oh I'm sure you would," she replied casually though a bit of teasing was laced in her voice. "However...I was wondering for a reason."

When Chuck raised his eyes to question her, he saw the serious look she had already plastered for him.

"Which is?" He demanded, his voice registering a little trepidation at broaching the unknown subject of her concerns.

"You seemed distant tonight," Blair informed him seriously. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt possessively which made Chuck tense a little in surprise. "Is something else on your mind? I don't want to have to compete." She pouted.

Chuck looked at Blair meaningfully, flicking the pout on her lips playfully with a finger, which made Blair soften. He returned his hold on her waist and pulled her even tighter against him.

"Plenty of things on my mind," he answered honestly, still gazing at her."but nothing that could compete with you, my love, I promise."

And if his body was telling the truth, Blair knew she was the number one thing on his mind. Now that their bodies were completely pressed up against each other she had actual evidence of the feminine effect she had on him.

"Hmm," she moaned approvingly. "Well then tell me what it is anyway. I'd like to be the judge of that myself. I don't like us having secrets."

"It's not a secret," Chuck corrected. He stilled her hands that were now returned to his belt and pulled her across the room over to the bed with him. Once has sat them both down, he resumed speaking.

"I've just been thinking," he explained curtly. "That's all."

"Well then tell me," Blair said, shifting impatiently causing Chuck to tense up even more.

"Maybe you already know the topic," He finally confessed, all solemn and hooded with gloom. He sounded like a version of himself right before he pawned her away for his hotel. All brooding and _emo_.

His face instantly dropped away from her demanding eyes as he hectically searched his surroundings - but not _her_.

"Your father," she murmured desolately, overcome with sadness for him. She couldn't help the urge she felt to take the pain away. Scooting all the way into his lap, she threw her arms around him tightly.

The comfort of Blair's arms dissipated as soon as she touched him as Chuck felt his heart suddenly constrict at the gesture. It weirdly made him feel even more dejected - how normal her reaction had been to feel sorry for him as soon as his father was mentioned. He felt his body quietly revolt against the act. Despite how much she loved him, he just couldn't take it.

He sheepishly removed her arms from his neck and placed her back on the bed. He didn't - couldn't - look at her pitying eyes, so he looked at the floor of her bedroom instead. Only did he not know it wasn't pity that was any longer in her eyes, it was the hurt of his rejection. Blair blinked back the tears that had profusely welled up.

"I don't really want to talk about it if that's okay with you," He stated softly, almost meaning to apologize. He could feel her eyes glittering on his back but he refused to look up at all.

"Chuck, don't push me away," Blair scolded him firmly. "I want to be there for you."

Her voice stronger than Chuck had anticipated, forcing him to finally look up at her. As soon as she caught his eyes with hers once more, she threw her arms around him again and hugged him. This time Chuck couldn't help but be overcome with the love he felt for her.

"I'm not pushing you away," he assured her, as he eased into her touch, as his guard started to unravel. Her touch really did have healing powers.

"If anything you have helped me deal so much. You have no idea," he said gratefully.

"How could I?" Blair demanded, lit passionately. "You never even talked to me about this before."

"I haven't," Chuck agreed thoughtfully. "but I've been avoiding thinking about those things and distracting myself with you."

"I'm your girlfriend," Blair spat, offended. "I'm not a distraction."

"That's not what I meant Blair," he quickly defended, detecting the disapproval in her tone. "And you are more than my girlfriend. You are the love of my life. But my father..."

His voice hitched before he could continue.

"He intimidates you-"Blair reasoned.

"No. he incenses me." Chuck retorted evenly. "Honestly, I just want to find a way to take him down, get back the company. However Jack and I can't do it alone. We need more than just money. That's the problem."

"...And more than your scheming powers," he added when Blair motioned to say something. "My father is a real estate tycoon who faked his own death, he's not going to easily fall for a scheme. It can't just be any scheme."

"I wasn't going to say that," Blair corrected him, soothingly squeezing his shoulder."I was going to offer that maybe you should talk to him."

Chuck laughed. It was dry and a little sad.

"I would if I didn't think it was futile," he replied. "It's nice of you to suggest things but the real business is not like that."

"Consider the option. I know a thing or two about business too." She reminded him.

"You don't know my father," Chuck countered

"Maybe not," she replied, "but I know you. If he could see you, how far you've come-"

"That's not going to work. Blair, I'm sorry," Chuck interrupted her, knowing it was hopeless to even go there. She caught the hopelessness he hadn't even bothered to hide from his tone.

"What are you going to do?" she wondered sadly, looking up at him sympathetically. "I wish I could help you."

He simply lifted his hands to his face in frustration. Blair's heart curled with a tight feeling of sadness.

"Come here," she coaxed him soothingly, taking him into her arms again. She held him firmly as she rubbed his shoulders and his back, all over. Chuck couldn't help but give into her touch. He was spent from thinking about everything else.

"Just make it go away," He requested huskily into the air.

"I will," she replied, already moving around his neck to kiss him, "for tonight."

She wished she could make it all go away. She wish it was a simple as sex. But it would have to do for now.

Soon her lips were claiming his and Blair went back to removing the rest of his clothes. She then removed her own.

"We will deal with this together," she told him reassuringly as she climbed into position to join him.

"I know," he kissed the palm of her hand, "and I love you for it."

"Promise me that."

"I promise."

.

.

"Good Morning," Simone greeted Blair as she leveled the tray of breakfast in front of her mistress for inspection, a selection of croissant and confitures, granola and yogurt. Blair nodded her head in approval and Simone placed the tray on the table at last. Blair set her tea cup on the table. Then sighing happily, she allowed her senses to take in the freshness of the Waldorf-Rose dining room, which was colorfully decked out in finery.

"Pull the drapes, Simone. It is a good morning indeed," Blair replied as she lifted the newspaper and held it close to her face, admiring the photograph of her that was printed on the side of the article that read THE AMERICAN INVASION.

The picture was one of her looking at fabric samples with the Waldorf Designs textile colorist and merchandiser. She looked very professional and even powerful in the shot if she dare say so herself. Blair couldn't help the swell of pride that rose in her cheeks and overtook her face.

"I guess not every French newspaper hates me," she announced by way of conversation with Simone who was already off to her chore.

"There goes a sigh of relief." she exclaimed, sighing emphatically. "Plus they didn't do half bad with the picture selection. I wonder what got into them this morning."

As she finished the last of her speech, Blair heard the rushed steps of sturdy Italian shoes coming towards the dining room. Her heart eagerly raced in her chest and bumbled with anticipation as the steps advanced closer.

Even though she spent every waking second with Chuck, he still made her heart beat faster whenever he announced his presence. From the first second that she had distinguished the approaching wooden squeaks were masculine steps, They had to be Chuck. She commanded them to be. She had missed him since this morning.

"Somebody's happy," he announced cautiously as he turned into the room, hooking himself to the frame of the door like one of her 1950's silver-screen beaus.

"Yes, happy to see you," she replied, gushing with excitement. "I've missed you. Come have breakfast with me."

"I've missed you too" he replied, kissing her briefly before taking a seat next to her at the table. "But you were smiling way before I came into the room. Who's making my girlfriend happy besides me?" He asked, his tone now playfully serious.

"Correction," she amended and tapped his nose, "the love of your life. Do you want me to butter your toast for you," she asked adoringly as she dragged a plate across the table.

She was quite chipper, he remarked as she leaned in to steal another kiss from him.

"You don't have to," he replied, looking at her like a puppy in love, which he was.

"I want to." She insisted, never even wavering her smile a second. "Simone, go get Mr. Bass his espresso, Merci."

"A French newspaper finally printed something good about me," She announced merrily as the door closed once on the maid taking her leave.

Oh that's what it was. It all made sense to Chuck now.

"Oh my!" he exclaimed catching a glimpse of the newspaper in her hand.

"I know," she explained, her surprise just as evident as his had been. "They had sent me a few emails," she started to elaborate, "I responded, of course. However, I had no faith they wouldn't misconstrue my responses and they didn't."

"You may not have Monte Carlo in the palm of your hands," Chuck congratulated her, " but you certainly have Paris."

"I can't agree more," Blair raved with a proud air that had Chuck spreading his own grin.

"Should we celebrate with champagne?" He asked. `

"Well that depends," she replied. "How did your thing with Jack go?" She queried, perking up for his response.

"Very well," he responded curtly

"Very well and..." she prompted.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything, of course," she said handing him his buttered toast.

"Seems like we're going to Shanghai," Chuck said biting into the slice, "this might be the last leg on the tour before we go in for the kill."

"But I thought you had enough money already," Blair pointed out, digging into her own fruit.

"You can never have enough money, Blair" Chuck corrected shooting her a disapproving glance. "I thought you knew that. But this one is not about money," he clarified.

Blair gave him a hand signal to continue.

"The guy we're meeting there, He's a Chinese real estate developer. He's like the Bart Bass of the East. Their firm and my father have been in competition for decades. He's known my father longer than I've been born, when they were just starting out. He knows my father's main contacts, how my father operates and joining forces with him we can possibly blackball Bart in this whole side of the world and torpedo most of his already ongoing business there if we act smartly. The guy is very well respected. There's clearly something in it for him too since he couldn't do it alone without the new intel we have. My father took many projects off his hands in the past. He has more than enough money to subsidize our agenda. I thought we would have had to start small but Jack got in contact with him this morning-"

"The Bart Bass of the East?" Blair frowned, interrupting his explanation and taking a moment to process the information.

"Trust me Blair, this guy is the real deal."

"Well can I come with?" Blair asked hopefully even though she was unable to mask her disappointment.

"No. Oh no, you shouldn't," Chuck objected, subtly taking offense at her tone.

"Your mother needs you here," he excused. "Waldorf Designs is getting so much buzz now because of you. You have to seize this moment for the company."

"I just want to be there to support you," She assured him dutifully though did little to convince him of it.

"I know," he retorted lamely, " but I don't feel comfortable taking you away from your work. I've done enough of that last week. Plus this is a bit more serious than my normal ventures,"

He tried placating her with a playful look but she simply frown, shooting him her disapproval through her dagger eyes.

"I insist." She whined fitfully, picking up her tea for a long sip which she dramatically gulped down her throat.

"It's just not a good idea Blair," Chuck said a little bit of irritation edging his voice.

"Chuck, what's going on?" Blair demanded. "Do you not want me there?'

"What do you mean? I never said that," Chuck defended, knowing there was probably more truth to her supposition than he would like to admit.

"Shouldn't you be jumping on rainbows that I even offered to come with you, especially for something so important? I'm offering to sacrifice my work for you, why can't you just appreciate that?"

"I never said I didn't but maybe I want to do this on my own," he retorted sharply.

He swallowed hard, his mind already spinning with all the things he could - _should_ - accuse her of. He may have been irrationally provoked but it was true. He needed to do this for himself. Blair had been the one he did everything for which is why he ended up with nothing. She simply had no place to accuse him of anything.

"I believe in you, okay," she assured him, her featured humbled and pleading. "but maybe you shouldn't be going half way across the world to plot against your father." She gave an intent look.

"Don't you think you have a better chance at being let back into the company if you approach him like a businessman? You're so much better than resorting to that and your father must see it the way I see it in you. You deserve to get back what is rightfully yours but you don't have to play dirty like your father. I would invest everything in you to build something on your own. Playing dirty never worked for you in the past. The scandal this is going to cause, your family name, all the reputations involved. If you go there with him, nothing will go back," Blair choked a little bit at the words.

"Oh so this is about you and your pristine reputation isn't it?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck how could you say that? I'm only looking out for you."

"I'll be fine. I know what I'm doing," he insisted.

"There are just places you can't come back from and I know how much it hurts when you lose someone forever,"

They've both been there, through the times when Chuck could never fathom that he and Blair would find their way back to each other. He had only hoped and thank God!

But this _wasn__'__t_about love.

"This is not about me and my father," he said, the words ringing just as hollow as the message they held. "This is about the company."

"Plus, why is this so important to you?" he asked, catching a glimpse of the pain that was shining in her eyes.

"Because I love you and I want the best for you," she replied.

"If you believe that then be on my side. Fight with me," he demanded

"For a worthy cause, but not this," Blair responded, shaking her head awfully.

"The best thing for you is not necessarily what you think you want," she added warningly, "I wanted everything to work out for the best. I never wanted it to come to this," she lamented resignedly.

"Everything is going to work out for the best." He tried to assure her but Blair shook her head away disbelievingly.

"Plus this means you're going away," she reminded him. "What about the fact that I won't survive a day without you. I hate you." she spat, her eyes like daggers of an imperial bitch.

It all made sense now again. But _that_ couldn't possibly be the sole reason she was upset. Something was a-brewing. God, what was he going to do with her?

"You don't. I promise I will call you," he offered lovingly, lifting his chair to move it as close to her own as possible. When he was settle close enough, he scooted all the way in to wrap his arms around her. Her body remained stiff and stubborn and she did not ease into his embrace as he'd hoped. He tried to make her smile but nothing made her smile not even when he tried to feed her some more fruit. He then removed his hands from her shoulders and returned to his own food.

He sat there next to her in the big dining room and they ate the breakfast in silence, the tears gradually building in their sockets, but neither ever daring to look at the other. Chuck watched Blair from the corner of his eye the whole time she was eating but he couldn't decipher what she was thinking. She had a frown momentarily and to think he put it there. For the first time since they'd reunited had he seen her like this. She was her own brand of stubborn but to know he was the cause of her sagging expression, his heart felt heavy, his appetite fell. Chuck abruptly excused himself from the table.

.

.

.

He hadn't particularly wanted to leave her that night, especially in the mist of their cold war which he didn't know how to bait her out of. He had not wanted to step through those doors when the time had come, however Chuck knew he had to do it even though she _hated_ him for it. He had to do it, for no one else but Chuck Bass, even if indirectly for her too - because everything he did, it was always her of course. How could she not know this?

He would miss her so much, not just physically though, but the whole of her. He hoped that she knew this as he looked at her sleeping form soundly snug against the pillow. She was fast asleep below him, like the goddess that she was, a peaceful smile radiating on her face. He wondered if she was dreaming about him. Maybe she wasn't that upset with him after all. He never wanted to wake her. She was such an angel when she slept. He never wanted to leave.

He would miss her laughter, especially, and the knuckles of her toes rubbing on his calves when they cuddled on the chair. Chuck bowed his head in sadness as he dressed himself in the mirror of her dimly lit room. he could hardly stand to be feet away from her, miles apart would only exasperate him. He couldn't fathom it, which is why he also had to keep reminding himself that his father was a monster and that he had to do this when the very thing he loved was screaming against it.

But how?

He packed his suitcase and placed it by the door, staring at it studiously from his position on the bed. It was three o'clock in the morning, a jet had been called for and Jack was coming to get him. Within a few moments he was going to have to step through those doors and leave their bubble behind. The bubble where life with her was all he breathed and dreamed of and all his woes were kept at a forgettable distance.

It was the reality of the situation that was killing him, the odds, the adversity. Once he left the comfort of her bed, he couldn't just run back. He realized he would have to face that beast he wasn't quite sure how to face.

He was however painfully certain that he did not want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf for the rest of his life, which was a great deal why he was doing all this. He loved her beyond words and looking over at her once more, his heart bled anew with joy for her to have had that spot in the newspaper. He solemnly thought back to when it was him who used to have his own newspaper articles in the business section. A single tear rolled down his cheek as it struck him that he no longer had anything of his own but the promise of her heart, for which he had suffered a lifetime of pain. And _she_ already had her future set because _he_had sacrificed his own for it.

As much as he loved Blair, the thought of her being the only thing in his life pained him. He couldn't have her come with him to Shanghai and he couldn't tell her all of that. He couldn't let her know either that he was just as scared as she was of what it meant to face his father. He hated the pity that came at the mention of Bart's name. How can one person inspire so much terror? It made him sound invincible and Chuck hated to think that. He also hated the doubt which engulfed him with an even more intense passion to prove them all wrong, himself included.

It was the last leg. He decide it could mean signing his name in blood. It could mean making a deal with the devil but he had to find a way to make Bart see. Over his dead body would he beg his father to take him back like the weakling he was accused of being.

A flash of his father's cold face appeared to him in the moment and Chuck violently shook it out of his head. It truly was like a living nightmare that he desperately wanted to wake up from. He would fight hard to open his eyes and push it out of his mind but waking hours were just as cruel. Chuck didn't like thinking about the whole Bass Industries thing on his own. The reality of what had happened with Bart had shaken and devastated him to his core. The fact that his father had done that to him, the fact that he could be taken for a ride so easily, first with Blair, but all that was fixing itself now...or was it? But then his father, whom he practically brought back from the dead, only to be repaid like a dog.

Sometimes, when completely alone, Chuck just wanted to cry about it, except the tears wouldn't come. The whole thing had infuriated him more than it had caused him grief. Effectively, he was numb from it now. However, the truth of the matter was so ugly that he simply wanted to cry - chemically release his fury if it were possible. It was impossible. That kind of pain couldn't run liquid. It had to be consumed by a fire, a Carthaginian fire.

He had been so unloved all those years as he used to believe. He hadn't been wrong this whole time he had desperately hoped to be wrong about his father. Why had all these people made him believe that Bart ever loved him? Why was it so easy for people to leave and lie and hurt him? Bart never loved him and will never love him or accept him regardless of personal sacrifices Chuck made for him. Bart was a cold unfeeling person and there was no redemption for that kind of soul.

Chuck cried a single roll of tear, not for the hurt but for the longing. All those years he wasted longing for something that would never come. He was done longing now. He was going to get back what was rightfully his.

He was desperate.

"Blair, I'm leaving," he whispered as he shook her a little as she yawned, stretching her arms fluidly over her head only to turn on her side and fall right back into her restful state.

"Blair." He kissed her gently. "I have to leave. Don't be mad, okay," he begged.

"Hmmm," she moaned appreciation of the gentle caress of his lips, "Chuck, why is your face wet?"

He hadn't even realized he was crying.

"It's nothing," he quickly objected, wiping at the evidence.

"Okay then." She patted the space next to her, kinder than Chuck had expected of her."Get back into bed," she nagged, her eyes still closed.

"Blair," Chuck chuckled nervously, not knowing how to take her mood even though Blair seemed to be dreamily floating somewhere else, "I can't get back into bed."

"Blair?"

"Yes," she replied tiredly in her sleep.

Had she forgiven him or was she simply just deeply unconscious?

"Okay. You're sleeping," he conceded, smiling at the adorable expression on her face, his glassy eyes glittering with feeling of completeness he only knew with her. "I'm sorry but I'll be going now."

"Will you take me with you?" she mumbled incoherently.

Oh how angelic she was when she slept.

"I would," he explained sadly, "I want to but, you see, I don't think you understand it, Love. I don't blame you." His tears were brimming to the surface once more. "I just can't do it Blair. I can't let my father get away with this."

"Chuck, what is it?" Blair made a whining sound and turned over in her sleep.

"Nothing, beautiful," he replied indulgently.

"No. you're very handsome. That's what you are," she blurted and Chuck was suddenly laughing before he could catch himself.

She made a deep grunt low in her throat in protest to the noise and Chuck chuckled anew at her little quirk. Suddenly his heart was lighter. As she was coming back to life from her slumber, she was inspiring life back into him again.

"I know. I know," he teased with a pout, "I'm going to miss you too. But I'll text you when I get there, my love."

"I love you," he said when she didn't respond, seemingly knocked out once more. "Even if you _hate_ me," he rehashed sadly.

Swiping his thumb over her forehead, he leaned in for a soft kiss. She surprised him by instantaneously capturing his lips deeper with hers, moaning indecorously in her half sleep state. He kissed her back full force, momentarily forgetting his woes, the moisture on his face dabbing her own.

"Chuck, are you crying?" she asked, her voice soft yet a little heavy with sleep.

"No," he lied, removing his face from her embrace. He stood up to walk away but she opened her mouth to speak.

"I don't want you crying okay. I want you to be happy."

"I am. I am. I'm not crying." he assured her, staring at her closed lids. "You make me the happiest I could ever be."

"Good," she replied in delight at his confession.

"Go back to sleep baby. I love you."

"Me too," she said before he stepped away from the bed like a soldier on a mission.

.

.

Blair could feel the sunlight beaming on her face even before she opened her eyes. She kicked her legs up and stretched her arms over her head, a beautiful sense of peace and happiness about spending the day with Chuck raining over her. She reached her arms out across the bed to seek him - Chuck! - He was not there. Panic claimed her one second but quickly Blair reeled her mind and decided to breathe instead.

"Chuck," she called out as she looked around the room to find no signs of his presence, not even a castaway sock or a cravat hanging crookedly on the back of a chair. The only sign of him she could distinguish was the faint smell of his cologne lingering on the sheets. She closed her eyes to take in the sensory treat. She then got out of bed to look all over the house but there was no Chuck. Not even in the library where she thought he'd be waiting for her with breakfast. She grinned hopefully as she turned the knob but stepping inside, there was nothing but piles of books and periodicals which they had left in disarray; last they paid a visit in their lust crazed state. He was not in her mother's library. She sighed longingly - their little sacred room. (She had vaguely turned it into her private study ever since she started doing extensive research on fashion during her recently self-imposed week of sabbatical with Chuck).

Checking the big mahogany clock which hung over the arch entrance, Blair was also a little bit taken aback at how late in the morning it was. It was very unlike Chuck not to have woken her earlier for all the research he knew she needed to get through in the day as well as to spare him quality time. Even if she had started a cold war between them, the gentlemanly thing she had expected of him was to still wait on her mercy and grovel for her forgiveness because she was _right_of course. She frowned a bit at the thought. She had wanted to make last night up to him regardless, regretting that the slept in discord. She had been willing to make the first move. She sighed in frustration. She really was in the mood for that quality time now that she thought about it. Where in the universe was her enormously stubborn pain in the ass?

With the tour of the penthouse completed and no Chuck Bass to play with, Blair returned to her bedroom a little bit sadder than she left.

"Simone," she called lazily as she settled once again into bed. Her hand restless for the attention of one depraved, well dressed, twenty one year old billionaire. At least he was one she mused as she smoothed her silky nightgown over her crossed knees.

"Yes, mademoiselle," the blond girl rushed in less than a minute later, stepping into the room curiously to take Blair's request.

"Bring me breakfast," Blair asked quietly. Not bothering to even look up from her lap. Her voice rang like an order. There was no playfulness or joy to amuse her eager maid and Simone withdrew her impertinent smile immediately.

"What would you like, mademoiselle?" she asked politely, falling into her trained demeanor.

"What did Chuck have this morning for breakfast?" Blair asked the maid.

Now, it was Simone's turn to avert her gaze to her lap. Blair's moods were already a little bit more sour than usual, as it was, the maid feared what kind of monster would explode out of the feisty little brunette once she were to relay the truth.

"Mr. Chuck didn't have anything this morning for breakfast," Simone replied quietly, "I was told he left in the middle of the night."

Blair didn't gasp or look horrified.

She suddenly looked up at the girl, almost kindly for her honesty, to Simone's surprise. Her face was inscrutable, even softer than usual and the maid was a little bit apprehended by that kind of reaction. Rather than angering Blair, the news had seemed to pacify her. Neither of them spoke up for a minute as the air thickened between them. Blair twirled the pliable fabric around her fingers distractedly.

"Mademoiselle," Simone spoke up uncomfortably.

"Je vous en prie, Blair hissed softly to dismiss her, her eyes cold and harsh though he lips hinted at a smile, however, it was more of a sorry kind of smile. Simone readily obeyed and shut the door behind her

.

.

He left in the middle of the night? Blair was beyond furious. She knew exactly where he must have gone. Couldn't he have even waited until daybreak to talk it out with her? It hadn't even been a full 24 hours since she had rejected his intentions, which she only believed to be in his best interest. She was more than angry with him. NOW.

However, she realized she was quickly even sadder - raising her eyes from her lap to look around her pitiful room, his side of the bed all cold and lifeless. Her fingers ached to tangle in his soft curls and trace the column of his throat. Her eyes longed to drink in his beautiful body through which she imbibed his soul. Did he not understand what he had done?

The last week with Chuck had been so heavenly good that Blair's insides tingled with elation at the recollection. She was in love like she'd never been in love before. Call her one of those silly girls in the perfume commercials, Blair absolutely did not care. She now knew what it meant to lose the one person who made sense of life for her and she wanted to pour all of her into him so he could stay, so she could always have him. She smiled at the thought, but where was he? She didn't have him now.

Pulling her phone from her bedside she lingered a little staring at the screen. Maybe she was overreacting, like she had overreacted the day before...which had led to this. Maybe he had called. After all, she did have one new voicemail.

She pressed the button to play the message.

_Hello__Darling__. __Roman__and__I__were__thinking__-_

Ugh. In all of her life, Blair had never been so disappointed to hear her father's voice.

So, he hadn't called, not even to apologize. Perhaps if he had called - but no, what difference would that make? He still had left in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye, but even _that_ wasn't the problem anymore. Nothing she had said to him had meant anything. It wasn't the fact that he had left, everything had to do with _why_ he had left – to avoid her. Yes, she had been the one who started it at breakfast and ignored him the rest of the day, (except, she felt bad and had woken up with the intention of making it up to him…but_he_ was already gone). Two was playing the game now, the feeling unsettled Blair. She released a puff of air she had no idea she'd been holding. She was exasperated, considering she fumed the rest of the day. She had refused Simone and sent her away with the lunch tray.

"I'm mad at the world, don't you understand."

.

By the time he finally called, Blair was ready to explode. They argued. Of course she brought up the fact that he left in the middle of the night automatically in defense of her actions, which he found completely irrational since she had been the one to put the cold shoulder between them at breakfast. What was he supposed to do, stay and argue? Regardless, they were arguing now.

"You clearly object to taking down my father now. You refused to speak to me, which was strange considering you're supposed to be on my side. Don't you think all of that was affecting me too?" he all but yelled at her.

"You want to take down your father, you're so happy about it. I just didn't want you to lose one more person who loves you."

_One__more__person__who__loves__him_

To Chuck, that didn't even make sense. When did his father love him? He had just made peace with the fact that his father had NEVER loved him. And she had even soothed his tears about it that morning, unknowingly. Did she mean to upset him?

So what if he gave him blood? He might as well have been a stranger.

"My father doesn't care about me Blair. that's what you always do. You pity me. You think you can save. You think i need you or anyone to save me?"

He hated the pity. He hated it. And why did she even care so much?

Blair suddenly burst into tears.

Her sobs were anguished earsplitting noises that made Chuck's heart stop beating.

"Blair-"

She was hurting._what__had__he__done__?_

"This isn't about your father, Chuck" she barked at him accusingly.

_what__had__he__done__?_

"No, because this is about you," he spat a little more acridly than he should have.

But he was angry. He behavior was completely irrational.

"How could you?" she bawled even nastier this time. If she could scratch his eyes out, she would have.

"You have no idea what I've been going through since that day. How dare you?"

"You wanna fix my mess so you don't have to deal with your. It's not my fault. It's yours." He was unapologetic at this point.

And her face was one with the pillow, which she soaked.

Serena. It was the one word he didn't say but Blair almost felt like he thought it. The admission was so painful, she hated that he wasn't wrong.

It truly wasn't about Bart anymore, it was about her and maybe it had been this whole time.

Serena. Blair was still holding the phone. She flipped it in her hand not to throw it across the room. Chuck had already hung up. She had the urge to scream.

Alone in her room with a daylight nightmare of a life, Blair scrolled through her contacts. She wanted to call someone. Maybe Nate, but they hadn't spoken like that in so long. How could she just call him with her problems? He must be sleeping or something anyway. It was late evening states side. She sighed regretfully at the thought.

For the first time since she had kicked the girl out of home, Blair decided to pause her thoughts on it sincerely. There it was, Serena's number and that picture (she had forgotten ever taking that picture) - that picture which drained all the color from her face - which she didn't even know how to process because the sheer cruelty of it appearing in her loneliest moment of grief.

It was a low quality picture when she had been wearing a velvet robe, her hair tied back in an unforgiving state of neglect, a rosary around her neck. Her eyes were rimmed from crying and her lips flat and washed white. Yet Serena was hugging her tight and admiring her, such awe-filled eyes that Blair couldn't help the stab of guilt she felt overcome with.

She remembered how Serena had enveloped her and proclaimed with all the vibrancy in her "I love you Blair. I'm the luckiest best friend in the world."

And right then and there, that forlorn night, Blair had made a mental note to throw Serena the best twenty-first birthday party ever.

Oh, Serena's birthday, she snapped out of her trance. It was coming up. June was ending.

Blair wanted to cry - cry because things were impossible. She had always envisioned being the one to throw Serena a twenty-first birthday party. It was such a monumental coming of age that they'd dreamed up together since the age of four. Blair had spent hers in the confines of white walls and beeping sounds. She had wanted Serena to have a happy one. Serena was always sunshine and sparkle and she deserved exactly that.

The memory of her own twenty first - how easily sadness can plunge to unknown depths. She was stilled like a wax figure looking at the picture on her phone. Those memories they had made when she could never have imagined not having Serena as her best friend, even just nine months ago. She remembered bluntly that particularly gloomy day in November, in the frigid cold of her assigned room, when her future had held no promise but that of a loveless marriage - yet she had planned to be happy for Serena's birthday because Serena had made hers so special even though encumbered by circumstances. Now she could only be distraught over it realizing how tragically her well-meant intentions had been met with impossibility.

It was now seven days before Serena's birthday, she was reminded, and at that, the tears came swiftly. The day was stripped of all the hopefulness it had several hours prior when she had woken up with the elegance and leanness of a dancer with only thoughts of Chuck on her mind. Oh Chuck! He drained the color out of her face too.

The emptiness overwhelmed her. There was nothing in the world that was right anymore. Blair sat up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror across the room. She had to quickly look away from the shame she saw reflected there, remembering how on her twenty first birthday Serena had spent the whole day with her at the hospital. She hadn't even gone home to shower. She had said she would not leave her best friend until Blair could smile again .And Blair hadn't been able to smile because Chuck hadn't been able to breathe on his own yet. Serena had stayed the whole time and sung her happy birthday twenty one times. Blair never smiled but Serena had been satisfied.

Blair cried and cried alone in her bed. Chuck hadn't called again even though many hours had passed by the time she checked her phone again. She realized she wanted him to though she _hated_ him for telling the truth.

.

.

It was Twenty-four hours later when Chuck heard the swoosh sound of a box being thrown into the trash bin.

"What is wrong with you?" he hissed at her, "I love you. I stood half an hour in line waiting for those macaroons."

"Chuck leave," Blair screeched on the other side of the door.

"No, "Chuck shot back defiantly, avoiding the frightful gaze of the maid who had just walked into the room unsuspectingly, carrying a hamper of freshly laundered clothes. He did not want to see yet another set of pitiful eyes, but Simone quickly took her unceremonious leave, sparing him the inconvenience.

"Do you know how long I had to spend on a plane just to get here?"

"Go away," Blair insisted

"No. I won't go away," He shouted at her, "until I know why the love of my life is hiding from me." Blair released an audible sigh and Chuck heard it through the door but she did not relinquish her stubbornness. He knew he was in for a long night given how their last conversation had ended, but what he didn't know was that he had managed to force a tight strained smile on her face with his term of endearment.

"Blair I'll break that door down if you don't open it," Chuck warned her, tensing his voice with a bit of command.

"What do you want me to say," he implored when no reply reached him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't take anything back. All I care about is you. Blair, I can't imagine not having-"

"Shut up." He was rudely interrupted mid sentence by a soft husky voice.

Turning his face to look over, his eyes caught hers immediately. Strangely he had been so intensely meditating his apology that he missed the squeaky twist of the knob when the door flung open. He looked at her sharply, her face a mask of hurt, eyes sunk in. It broke Chuck's heart. In a flash, he stalked his way into the room and squeezed her into a hug.

"Blair I'm sorry." He apologized again. "What are you doing locking yourself in the bathroom? You don't think I would come in?"

"You're only in because I let you," she pointed out, "I wanted you here," she added a little sheepishly, smacking his shoulder as she did so.

"But you told me to leave," he complained, hugging her even tighter in relief.

"Yes," she confessed, finally letting her body melt against the warm comfort of his arms (which she had missed), "because I wanted you to push a little more with your apology, which you did."

Chuck smile against her hair at her open confession. It was such a Blair Waldorf thing to do. He then pulled a little bit away from her to look at her face.

"Blair, are you crying?" he asked, realizing that tears were streaming down her face.

She sniffed dramatically, steeling herself, almost turning away from him but he held her tight into place.

"Blair," he pleaded.

"No. I'm not crying," she lied, even though the tears were trickling down. Chuck reached out a hand to wipe her cheek with the flat of his palm. He could also feel his heart grinding against his chest as he looked at her tenderly to find that her eyes had none of their usual glint. All he could read was a sad and somber expression.

"Please don't cry," he implored pathetically. "There shouldn't be anything to cry about,"

Blair rolled her eyes a bit peeved by his scrutiny. "I said I'm not crying," she defended.

"I'm really sorry, Blair," He apologize again pulling her in close, "For leaving...for everything."

"I've forgiven you lots of worst things," she contested simply.

"You have," he agreed. She had forgiven him lots of worse things before.

"What is going on?" he demanded a moment later when he loosened her from his embrace. "Forty eight hours ago I left you all soundly sleeping and now you're crying your face off. I know what I said yesterday was harsh. I'm sorry," he apologized for the hundredth time since he had arrived in front of her bathroom. "I would have called again to apologize but I knew you wouldn't have picked up, so I came back in person for you. Surprise!" he exclaimed charmingly.

She almost smiled.

"Thank you," She confessed gripping his shirt tightly as if she was about to shake him or make love to him. "I needed you so much. I was so upset with you yesterday however I realized that was more due to other reasons that had nothing to do with you. I was pushing you not to let go of your father because I realize I was holding on to a really big loss." She purged all in one breath.

Chuck looked at her tentatively before he spoke. He could feel her warming against him.

"I figured." he stated, brushing another path of tears from her eyes. " I didn't take any of it personally either. I know you're going through a lot right now. If I have to be your emotional punching bag, then so be it," he added comfortingly.

"Oh don't say that," she swatted him playfully in reprimand. "I would never want to abuse you like that. I may go overboard sometimes too but I love you way more than any hurtful thing I could ever say to you."

"I love you too," he affirmed like a promise. He leaned in to kiss her hair, meaningfully closing his eyes to savor the feel of the moment. He didn't seem to be able to get enough of her. It was almost like a frantic subconscious not just _need_, but _dependence_ on the love that he felt for her.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" he inquired breaking the silence that had settled upon their sacred moment.

"I would" she replied timidly, releasing a huff at once, "but I don't think I'm ready. I had an emotional day yesterday."

"I don't mean to pry but is it about the baby?" Chuck asked sheepishly, seeing Blair's torment to disclose what was really on her mind.

Blair gave him a wary look. Her jaw was tight and she swallowed. He caught the grief she tried to veil by closing her eyes.

"Sorry I didn't mean to go there," he amended quickly, feeling foolish for being so presumptuous with his word choices. "I'm sorry. I've just been wriggling my mind. The way you broke down in tears over the phone. I didn't know what I had triggered. I didn't know...It seemed pretty personal."

Blair shook her head against his chest without response. He didn't know if he should hug her as he didn't want to pity her. He remembered how it felt when she had done that to him. That's what he had always thought although now he was finding out that pity and sympathy weren't quite the same thing.

"How did the baby get into this?" she asked tepidly.

"I know I'm perpetually putting my foot in my mouth, but yesterday on the phone you said i had no idea what you been going through since that day," Chuck explained desperately, "You were really upset about it."

"Yes," she acquiesced calmly breaking away from his hold to gain her own space. Walking to the end of the bathroom she leaned against the wall a moment before slipping down to the floor and hugging her knees as if she were consoling herself. Chuck watched her with a morbid ache all over his face. He couldn't hide the way every once of pain he could conceive from her reacted inside his body just as brutally. His heart flooded with the wretched feeling. He reached her on the floor, sitting just a few feet away.

"I was really hurt," she continued after a moment, " but why would you think..."

"I don't know," he admitted, "Everything you said. The way you were acting. I assumed it must have been around the time you found out you were pregnant. Maybe you were dealing with that. I didn't know what to do or think. I was going crazy."

Blair had never heard such deeply caring words pronounced to her. Her heart suddenly overwhelmed with a maddening kind of love for him she hadn't even known she was capable of.

"Chuck, this isn't about the baby," She spoke up to reassure him, "I do have moments when I'm incredibly sad over it but yesterday wasn't one of those days."

"Sadly for me," she spoke up again mournfully, "I have more than one loss to grieve."

"I know. Was it-"

"Your sister and I aren't friends anymore." Blair confessed languidly, removing her head from his chest to sit upright against the wall. This time when the tears trickled, she didn't try to wipe them and she didn't try to avert her eyes either, allowing Chuck to peer all the way into the bottomless depths of her orbs.

"Yesterday after our fight, I couldn't escape thinking about her. I don't know, for some reason it really hurt me." She continued to lament.

"You miss her," Chuck explained soundly, reaching his hand over to rub soothingly up and down her thigh, which was bare to him since she she had only been wearing his favorite dress shirt that he had left in the drawer in case she missed him.

She did miss him, now she was crying.

As the sobs intensified, Chuck moved over and cocooned her in his arms securely like he had done countless time before. But this was _his_ Blair and he couldn't help but hurt to see her like that. She cried hard against shoulder but he didn't care.

"And I'm sorry I brought up the baby," he admitted sorrowfully. "I hate to provoke you like that. You have enough to deal with."

"It's okay," Blair assured him, her tone clipped with the thickness of her sobs. "It's not your fault. You were just being the amazingly caring boyfriend that you are."

She manage to strain her face into a thankful smile. Chuck immediately felt warm at the gesture and smiled back at her

"Look how far into your mind you went just to find out the source of my troubles," She added all starry-eyed as she relaxed against his chest once more. "No one ever does that for me."

"I don't think that's true," Chuck disagreed smoothly though he was flattered. "I think a lot of people would do that for you."

"Regardless of that, you're the one that's here right now," she affirmed, caressing his chest.

"True," he relented, knowing Blair wouldn't allow him to dispute this any further."But do you find they don't inquire because they're afraid they will upset you?"

"I think that's probably the case," Blair admitted a bit chagrined by the confession.

"Well, you can talk to me about it anytime you want," Chuck offered sincerely, smoothing sweeping his fingers over her exposed skin.

"No. I guess they're right not to ask," she sighed. "I don't think I'm ready to talk about it. To anyone,"

"What about Serena," Chuck asked after a moment when he felt her relax again. "Do you want to talk about that?"

"It ended really badly. I regret ever going there with her. I don't think she'll ever forgive me," Blair confessed sadly.

"Is she really the only one who has to forgive the other person? I'm sure both of you did things that you now regret," he said.

"Yes," she acquiesced thoughtfully, placing a hand over his heart as she lazily played with the pocket square in his suit jacket. "But nothing she does will ever be as bad as what I did to her."

"Do you regret dating him?" Chuck asked, the question slipping from his tongue before he even had a chance to contemplate what he was saying. She angled her head to give him a questioning look but she answered anyway.

"Well my motives weren't all that pure so I do regret the fact that I used him to run away from my reality while hurting the people I love most in the process," she admitted contritely yet firmly, "But I don't regret our friendship. We should have just stayed friends."

"I couldn't agree more," Chuck replied, smoothing over her cheek with his thumb. The tears had stopped running and therefore had started to dry.

"But I'm glad you chose to follow your heart at the end of it all," he finished lovingly.

"I couldn't agree more either," She seconded, giving him a small smile.

"Well Jack and I are going to New York next week," Chuck announced a moment later. "Maybe I'll get Serena to agree to talk with you."

Blair raised a suspicious eyebrow.

'What's going on in New York next week?" she asked .

"I'm going to have to face my father one way or another," Chuck explained, given her a look of surrender. "I might as well do it for the benefit of the company,"

"I agree," Blair patted his shoulder encouragingly. " I think you should talk to Bart, even if you decide it's just for the company."

Chuck shook his head at her in agreement, letting her claim his fingers into her own as she had approved of his new declaration. Blair had been right. He was going out of his way to destroy his father just to prove him wrong when the goal should have always been to get back the company.

"It doesn't make you weak or any less of a man the way you think he sees you," Blair informed him, "You were clouded by anger so you thought you had to prove him wrong by standing up against him, trying to defeat him. You don't have to prove him anything."

"Plus you have a way better chance at getting back the company if you work from the inside," she affirmed. "This is the only way you'll have nothing to lose. You can save the money you've won, in case you decide that's not what you want anymore, simply just because you don't have Bass Industries doesn't mean you have nothing," she added pointedly. "I'll still be here to build a future with you."

"But I thought you did want me to defeat my father," Chuck asked, as a flash of him and Blair in Monte Carlo jogged into his memory.

" I would cash out my entire trust fund if that's what you needed," Blair told him seriously, " I would. Defeating your father is a noble goal, just not for the reasons you were doing it."

"Not because you should feel you need to prove that you can defeat him and not because you believe Bass Industries must be your entire future," she lectured him a bit sternly, making sure to hold his eyes intently.

"I feel guilty because I know you think that way, which is why I didn't want you to go to Shanghai in the first place," she confessed.

"Blair-"

"I know you feel like you've given up your future to save mine and that you may never get back your future because of decisions you made for me. You will never have a proper relationship with your father and I'm the cause of all of that," she stated like a fact but her tone was much more apologetic than informative.

"Blair, I told you my father doesn't care about me and I don't care to have a relationship with him either." Chuck made sure to make his tone sound as indifferent as he possibly could and it came with no effort. Maybe he had truly grown indifferent this time.

"Will you truly be happy with just me?" she asked sincerely.

"I have you," Chuck affirmed hopefully, "I have Lily, Nate, Serena, Jack,"

"Monkey," Blair added jokingly.

"Yeah Monkey's probably best out of all you," Chuck retorted tauntingly.

"Well, he'll have to move over," Blair returned smugly, "because I'm claiming the number one spot. You can count on me to be by your side when you face your father and you will win if you have to."

"I can see it already. you have amazing foresight," Chuck retorted playfully. It was nice how even in their most intimate conversations, they always managed to make each other forget a little while, with a laugh or a smile. They tried.

"I love a takedown as much as the next person, but I love you more," Blair replied sweetly, returning a little bit of the seriousness to the conversation. "No need to risk losing Bass Industries over some egotistical need to best your father, cause a scandal by declaring war and ruin your business reputation by dirty schemes. if you possess one thing, it's integrity. Bart just has to let you back into the company but you'll need to have a serious conversation with him. Back at the press conference, he may have just been in a moment simply because he was envious of what you had that he didn't. But now he has lily back in the folds. He should see things differently."

Chuck shook his head passively. He had made up his mind but he didn't want to think about it any longer.

"What about you?" she asked in turn. "What's your foresight into my future?"

"You and my sister reunited as best friends," he announced hopefully. "I did it once, I hope I can pull it off again,"

"Have you spoken to her lately at all?" Blair asked.

"No. I haven't. She hasn't called me, weirdly," Chuck said to his own surprise, searching his mind to recall the last conversation he had with Serena, but he couldn't even remember. It was so long ago.

"Maybe she read the newspaper article about us being in Monaco together. Maybe she's avoiding me just to avoid you. But I'll see her in New York I'm sure," he added optimistically.

"She must really hate my guts to avoid you. You're her brother," Blair acknowledged with a resigned tone, laying her head down further into the crook of his shoulder to seek even more of his warm and reassuring presence. His arm came around to squeeze her in place.

"I hate it when you two fight," Chuck proclaimed with a frown, after a moment. "Neither of you is happy. You have to forgive each other. I love you both."

"If it were that easy," Blair sighed. "I would understand if Serena never wanted to speak to me again."

"Well I'll be going to New York shortly." Chuck re-announced hopefully, "I can promise you I'll find out." He rubbed her arm reassuringly.

"Maybe you should buy her something Chanel before you go over there talking peace treaties mentioning my name..." Blair suggested helpfully.

"Maybe I should come with," she proposed a second later lighting up brightly at the idea.

"But you're busy," Chuck countered with a little pout.

"But I love you," she said in retort, leaving no room for rebuttal. Chuck understood perfectly the pointed expression on her face.

"I agree," he amended immediately, "say it again,"

"I love you," she confirmed to the happy sound of him chuckling, "Wherever you are, I want to be there as well. I don't want you leaving my side again so soon after you disappeared."

"I would love if you came." He nodded his head dreamily at the thought. "The two of us together as a couple, New York is not going to know what hit her."

"That's exactly why we have to go together." Blair confirmed excitedly., giving him her prettiest smile, complete with several bats of her eyelashes.

"You have the best foresight of anyone I know, he contemplated as he gently touched his lips to her cheek. "It's like a talent."

"Flatter away," she teased him. "You'll need those points for tonight,".

"Oh I think I earned all my points already," he replied smugly.

"What do you mean?" Blair asked narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.

"I bought you something," he offered simply, still retaining the smug expression on his face.

"You honestly still think you can win me over with gifts? I thought I told you last week-" Blair said rolling her eyes at him.

"It's from that place you told me they just opened," he confirmed, knowing that would instantly snap her to attention, which it did, to his amusement.

"In Shanghai?" Blair demanded hysterically, unable to contain her curiosity.

"Only the best for the love of my life," Chuck replied as he leaned in to kiss her for a brief moment before Blair was up on her feet like a ballerina, as if completely recovered from her emotional distress at the suggestion of one famous jeweler.

Just her favorite jeweler that is.

"Harry Winston?" she exclaimed jovially as she lifted herself from the bathroom floor. "I think you are exceeding your point limits right now Chuck. Go get me my present," she commanded him.

"Well come with me," he drawled with a twinkle as he extended his arm for her to help him off the floor, loving the way she had suddenly become a little crazed rabbit. It could certainly work in his favor.

"Maybe you should surprise me too," he proposed. "Fair is Fair. I'll close my eyes if you don't want me to peek. But after you change out of my shirt and dress for the night I'll give it to you."

Her eyes sparkled with something that Chuck couldn't even recognize. It was greater than lust. It was like she wanted to consume him in a way that physicality couldn't permit.

" I am so in love with you Charles Bartholomew Bass," Blair said when he was up on his feet, his arm around her waist. She placed the palm of her hand on his back, swiping up and down affectionately.

"I'm going to need to hear you say that again just like that in about 5 more minutes," Chuck teased her catching a renewed glint of happiness when he locked eyes with her once more. It made him smiled. He leaned in and kissed her lips with a blazing hell this time.

Blair was giggling when she walked out of the bathroom. The sound directly filling Chuck's ear. He had missed it like nothing he ever imagined. Just the simple ring of her laughter, signaling her happiness to be in his presence. She was happy again. It kind of made him complete. And the act of being one with her amplified it a hundred fold. It was like getting burned by a sweet fire.

.

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******My author's note. I just want to say that this chapter is clearly a lot P.O.V heavy and that's why it took me some rewrites. Chuck has like 3 different P.O.V.s and Blair has at least four. Throughout the whole writing process, CB's P.O.V toward each other was probably the hardest to write. I wanted them to break each other down a little to get to the core of their problems. And I wanted it to resonate with the fact that they know each other better ********than they know their selves. Blair saw Chuck's problem and Chuck's saw Blair's torment before either were even willing to admit it. And they built each other up at the end.**

******AND ASLO (this is an add- on) Well I recognize that Blair and Chuck's POVs are extreme in this chapter and well I intended for them to be irrational because ultimately that's how they were able to make each other see. Just because Chuck says he did everything for Blair, maybe he thinks it in an accusatory way, doesn't mean that's how Chuck truly feels. And it isn't simply about Bass Industries, it's about how he ****__****is ********nothing without her, not so much how he ****__****has******** nothing. But well, his wealth matters. That's what he grew up with. It doesn't represent his vanity, it's his identity. So it completely has to do with what he****__**** is******** or isn't, not what he ****__****has******** or doesn't have, because of ****__****her********.**

**And Blair feeling like a monster because of what she did to Serena and trying to absolve it through 'saving' Chuck and his father's relationship doesn't mean that's a really rational behavior either. Obviously both Chuck and Blair were in some kind of crazy state ( and I mean literally crazy state) in this chapter. Maybe that's why it was so hard to convey but the problem of Bart and Serena wasn't gonna go away so they had to talk about it. And instead of coming to each other, I made them pull it out of each other, like 3x04 or 3x12 for example.**

******Hopefully my inspiration springs in the next chapter. This one was probably the darkest I've written and I am not all that proud of it but I just felt it necessary to go there.**

******There was a lot of crying. I kind of felt evil for writing all that crying. Maybe i can make it up in the future chapters.**

******This chapter is the longest I've ever written.**

******This chapter is largely un-betaed, But I want to thank my beautiful Riml (Ohchuckles) for having read over the 1********st******** half for me.**


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